So New Years was a blast, went to a friend-of-a-friend's house party for board/card/drinking games and a BBQ. As the evening went on, we all ended up in bunches around the house playing different games or just hanging out etc. I ended up at a table with mostly good friends, a few strangers, and one hamplanet in a polka-dot tarp. Boy, it was hard to look at.
We've set the scene; let's get to the story.
We're playing "two truths and a lie", a game in which we all write two facts and one lie about ourselves anonymously on a bit of paper, mix them up and then try to guess who wrote which one. If you guess wrong, you drink; if you get caught, you drink. Being a bit of a cunt, I noticed that I could use this as an opportunity to shitlord the only fatty in the room. I wrote down my two truths; "I broke a scale by stepping on it" (I stepped on the cover of the needle while falling over once and the plastic broke, the scale mechanism worked fine but the needle was fucked so we got a new one.) ; "I made myself throw up, and ate a second meal" (I once ate two bowls of expired cereal before realizing it was packed full of mealworms and their moltings, I was a kid and was pretty horrified. After puking my
grubsguts out and a moment of rest I was hungry again so I had toast for breakfast.) and then, one lie; "I hate my body." (lol)
So, in goes the paper, and we're all already drunk and inhibitions are to the wind. My paper comes up, and everyone instantly looks at the fat girl, who sits there baffled. Then everyone shouts its name, and it looked pretty hurt. I couldn't hear what it said over the ruckus of the house and music but it was frowning and argued with a couple confused people, fervently denying the confession. Eventually I gleefully said, "It's mine! I got you all! DRINK!" and everyone laughed and shouted and demanded explanations for these dubious claims. Everyone forgot pretty instantly about the ordeal by the time the next paper was picked up and the game continued on like nothing happened.
But something did happen, and the damage was done. The ham excused itself from the table and I didn't see it for the rest of the night (not that I tried to look, that tarp was really hard on the eyes).
Happy New Year, everyone. :)
Edit: I fucking love you all, I'm blushing