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[–] GoodOldJR 0 points 64 points (+64|-0) ago 

This should go to under recommended reading in the sidebar.

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[–] ShitArchon 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Also, we need to update the urls from slimgur.com to sli.mg.

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[–] zeonin 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

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[–] The_Penis_Wizard 1 points 6 points (+7|-1) ago 

You do realize homer is a bot, right? We have it configured to ban when something is reported and has enough downvoats, and to leave a generic response. By tagging here you could get GoodOldJR banned.

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[–] Bunny_Pope 0 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago 

I love the way these read, it's so professional.

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[–] FattyHater [S] 0 points 24 points (+24|-0) ago 

That's what I was going for. Professional with a bit of profanity laced in.

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[–] Fatty_McGoo 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

The catfish was sublime. Well done.

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[–] HipsterFreak 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

Tumblrinas...ruining colourful hair and tats for the rest of us :(

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[–] FattyHater [S] 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Nah, when thin girls do it it looks cute as hell. I love the look, just not on fatties.

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[–] IWasNumber1 1 points 5 points (+6|-1) ago 

Ya one of my former Sociology professors had purple/ black hair and these beautiful tatooes, but there was no way she was a modern liberal like them. Classical liberal maybe, but I think she's more moderate.

For those who don't get the difference.

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[–] Oveass 1 points 1 points (+2|-1) ago 

I associate brightly colored hair/streaks of hair with crazy. Doesn't matter the weight I will talk to them assuming they are completely batshit.

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[–] PepeThePained 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

You should really write an illustrated book.

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[–] FitSlav 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

No one wants to draw fatties, you lemon.

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[–] PepeThePained 0 points 28 points (+28|-0) ago 

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[–] tableflipper 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Ditto.

(c wut i did thar?)

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[–] JStalin 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

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[–] ScreaminMime 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

It could be a pop-up!

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[–] eltri35 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Whatwouldyoucall this. Sorry im not that good at naming.

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[–] GregorSamsa 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

Marine veteran here. We'd call them fatbodies. We were a creative lot. Or ArmyStrong cause military fatties were often army. BCP or body composition platoon people.

Dependapotamus was the term for spouse of a military member. Typically fat entitled lazy fucks. Often they'd say things like "do you know who my husband is?" Or " you have to salute me as well I am a colonels wife". They are basically useless fat baby factories. They don't work and just shit out babies and eat fast food and hang out at the PX either trying to fuck fit younger Marines, police Marines, or just spend all their husbands income. Often they'll go to the gym sweat on everything while sone how not doing any real work

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[–] mrduck 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Terminal Lance has done several series on these. His descriptions in the comments seem pretty spot on:

"This creature of lore is actually quite common within the Marine Corps. Mostly found in the darkest corners of base housing, Dependapotamus may look like a predator of some kind, but it is actually defined as a parasite. Much like a tick or leach, the creature will engorge itself into gluttony through the benefits and steady paychecks offered by the unsuspecting Marine."

http://terminallance.com/2010/08/06/terminal-lance-56-myths-and-legends-ii-the-dependapotamus/ http://terminallance.com/2012/03/06/terminal-lance-183-his-boots-her-flip-flops/ http://terminallance.com/2013/12/10/terminal-lance-revenge-of-the-dependapotamus-pg-4/

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[–] tipsyoctopus 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Dependapotamuses really need to be on this list.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] FattyHater [S] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

I'm not very familiar with military hams and therefore am not qualified to provide a description of them. Maybe someone else can step up to the plate on this one?

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[–] tableflipper 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

Dependapotamus: Wife of military-enlisted husband who sits around on her fat ass all day and leeches off government funds.

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[–] Bunraku 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Looks like a few shots of the Private Pyle. Not limited to the military, but inexplicably included in the ranks of other physically demanding professions such as police, firefighters and EMTs.

Either the result of a slipping standard of entry requirements or some kind of tenure, the Private Pyle uses its hefty bulk to crush its natural enemy, performance records.

Whether the Pyle is bringing up the rear in an early morning march, stopping patrol every fourteen minutes to buy donuts, or causing a firetruck to bank to the left, there is a silver lining to the life span of the Pyle; they are probably the comic relief, and definitely the first to die.

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[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Fupa Trooper - Military and Police force fatties that can no longer see their own genitals. In any situation requiring even a modest level of physical fitness, these disgraceful lard buckets would utterly fail and are therefore a potential liability to their fellow troops/officers and the citizens they are meant to protect.

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[–] RedditcansuckaFupa 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I'm not sure if this works, but paging leelem0n: https://voat.co/user/leelem0n

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[–] leonvmetcalf 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I don't understand but why are these people even in the military in the first place?? I thought there were physical requirements that they had to pass.

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[–] Mr_Wolf 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

They start off being able to pass all physical fitness requirements, they use deception and medical waivers to get around having to perform the required fitness tests, and when they do have to take them they barely pass the minimum requirements and go back to waivers and medical excuses to get their revaluation tests delayed.

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[–] squataclops 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Females are war donkeys (or hippo) and the males are just shitbags

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[–] Chicup 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

I think the tumblerina is a bit off, no steptum piercing, hair isn't garish enough and the photo looks like the person knew how to use a camera instead of a selfie.

I think someone like this https://slimgur.com/images/2015/07/07/43d8842a6cfdb75d4b58ee541e113c56.png

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[–] FattyHater [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Ugh that's hideous.

You're right, though.

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[–] Blooperman 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I'm inclined to agree here. The specimen shown was not nearly gender ambiguous enough.

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[–] Jessee 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

At least they have some self awareness and got themselves a bull ring, that way we can grab them by the ring and tame them when they go on a rampage

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[–] journalistsarelazy 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Nice, I'd add Instaham to this, with the emphasis on delusions about food pics, crappy quotes and minion macros.

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[–] FattyHater [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Excellent suggestion!

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[–] journalistsarelazy 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

You could do loads I suppose. Planet fatness lying gym goer, one for the idol ham i.e. Tess, the spokesperson ham for fat acceptance like the founder bacon, the enabler, the feeder, the sympathiser, fat pet owner, beta male, imgur staff, reddit admin.

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[–] Pinkmushroomlover 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

"Just a big guy" can also be called, "I'm built like a linebacker"

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[–] FattyHater [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I actually had something along those lines in my first draft of this. Something like "Just A Big Guys roughly resemble some fatter professional athletes such as linebackers and designated hitters, and they therefore think this means they are athletes".

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