I work in a hospital. Patient gets referred to us by family physician, suspicion of deep vein thrombosis.
I enter the examination room and within picoseconds I am disgusted by what I see. Patient, lying on the stretcher, is a mid-sixties ham, approximately 350lbs (maybe even more). On the seats: Wife looks a little less hammy, but still far beyond 200lbs. Daughter looks pretty much the same; with short, colored hair of course, because that totally helps making her beautiful, doesn't it? barf
So I ask what the problem is, he tells me that he might have a thrombosis, he had one a couple of months back on the other leg. I sit on my swivel chair, looking on the computer (which was nice, not having to see this beast) and the lab values. Not even having finished the clicks in the EHR system, I hear his wife "you have to know, my husband is very sick!" And so it began.
You see, hospitals are full of hammies, all the time. Let's say double the percentage of fat people you see on the streets or in any shop. Who would have wondered? But I beg to differ(entiate). Some have ham bodies and are fully aware of their fatness and are ashamed of it, which is sufficient for me to handle their idiocy mentally and not go insane in such a place. But my niceness disappears as soon as ham body and ham mindset come together. Telling me that a 350lbs guy in his sixties has several diseases was no fucking surprise to me and its subtext screamed "He's innocent, he is a victim of circumstances handed down to him by Satan himself!" Fuck this shit. The Hippocratic oath was not written with entitled Hippos in mind.
So I turn around and simply said "I know."
Hamwife: "How do you know that?"
I gaze around this mass of palmitic acid, sweat and chronic organ failure and say: "I can see it."
Hamwife: "And he takes a lot of medication!" and hands me the medication scheme which I did not ask for.
Without looking at it, I said: "That's what I suspected." Diseases: diabetes, diabetic nephropathy, diabetic foot syndrome, diabetic neuropathy, coronary artery disease (aided and abetted by his diabetes), diabetic cardiomyopathy. Ultrashort version: "Idiot needs 20 pills and 4 injections everyday because of his idiocy."
So they were pretty much pissed at me, though they did not dare speak up. In the end, he had erysipelas. Prescription for antibiotics, admission denied.
Two days later, I was informed by a PA trainee that she overheard Hamwife complaining about me to a cashier in a shop. That I was insulting and unfriendly. I was so proud.
I hope these pieces of infectious human waste never visit my ER again.