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[–] ElectricPurple 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I was once stuck in an aisle (I bet you can guess what store. Walmart! DING DING DING! Correct!) with this female ham. I could tell it was female from the severe rotting vag smell. Good. Fucking. God. If I had eaten that morning my food would be all over it. So it blocked the entire aisle. My Walmart has glass walls (apparently we have a shoplifting problem) in the cosmetics area so it's glass wall, me, then ham. I'm so tiny I could have slipped by the ham, but oh hell no was I going to get near that thing. So here I am, heaving, shirt up to nose, while hammy takes its sweet time picking out three gallons of makeup. It was only for a minute or so I was trapped, but you know, it felt like an hour. Ham left. But left rotting vag stink. So I had to run through the stink cloud and keep my stomach acid down. Damn, I think I needed a gas mask. So I come out and tell my mom what happened and we shitlord and complain about hams together. My shitlady ways have rubbed off on her. I catch her saying things in the car like "move faster, fatass!" When they're crossing the street at a snail's pace.