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[–] KJkrunch 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I see your request for a spin from the fat's perspective, OP. I'll give it a whirl. I'm probably gonna make it tl;dr though as it's my first fatfiction.

Dear Tumblr,

Today was just the worst day ever! Had to waffle stomp before I could even head out the door today and what's worse mom wasn't around to cook me any breakfast! I didn't want starvation mode to kick in. :( Had to think of something fast...there's a Burger King about 5 minutes away, so naturally I ran to my car and drove over, desperate for a meal. I've had so many starvation mode incidents in the past I happen to be 400 pounds, I gotta eat on time if I want this to go away!

Just my luck, the drive thru happened to be out of order that day, but I managed to get inside the establishment.

There was the most horrible shitlord in front of me in the line though. I thought he looked kind of cute and he even held his gaze at me for more than 2 seconds, he was probably interested in me, but society's standards said it would be taboo. I noticed the shitlord had ordered two burgers with a large soda and fries, incredible! We were a perfect match, destined to meet here, it's why the drive thru was out of order I'm sure!!! I quickly made the exact same order as him but since I had missed breakfast, added some bacon and cheese to my burgers, now.

Feeling a bit more stunning and brave, I approach the skinny man and explain my condishuns, hoping he'd understand and we could find some common ground.

But just then my heart sunk (and my bowels) as the shitlord contested that we didn't order the same thing. The fucking nerve of that asshole!! He mentioned having a sick wife. Well maybe she wouldn't be so sick if she wasn't an anorexic slut and throwing up every meal, Jesus! He proceeded to shut me down but just then my meal was rung up and ready. I desperately dashed to my food and clutched it close, just as I was about to gallantly stride out the door and bravely told him off. I'm sure someone applauded.

It's been an hour since then and I've been triggered into staying in my room. I'm hungry again but afraid to go outside, I cannot stand these awful shitlords. :(

Please donate to my tip jar so I can order a pizza. Much luv, XXOOXXOO

This was disgusting to write, I'm going to shower

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Thank you. Quite well done. For a second I thought I was reading an actual tumblr post. Be sure to poo BEFORE getting in the shower. Don't want to ruin the plumbing.

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[–] legendaryshitlord 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Ham's version.

REEEE *squeal *snort REEEEE REEEEEE!

tl:dr REEEEEEE!!

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[–] KJkrunch 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Well as long as you're happy with it then so am I.