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[–] PinkXenomorph 1 points 106 points (+107|-1) ago 

......'really triggering for you to be here'?

So what, are you supposed to just leave every goddamn time the idiot blob is ~triggered~? Jesus, the entitlement, it burns.

You're a nicer person than I am. I think I would've just started laughing hysterically.

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[–] whyme5005 [S] 0 points 54 points (+54|-0) ago 

The only reason I left was because I didn't want it to have a freak-out and kill itself while I was there (I'm squeamish around blood, imagine tons of blood AND a mountain of adipose shit). Don't worry- once it had retreated into its 'safe-space' my shitlady friends and I went back and had a little fashion show in its 4X pants.

Author's note: not one, but TWO shitladies can fit in ONE leg!

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[–] BlackBetty 0 points 76 points (+76|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You need to get her out. Report her for every excuse in the book.

  1. She's unhygienic and her refusal to bathe is effecting your olfactory syndrome (Did you know that you had an olfactory problem? You do now. See Hyperosmia).
  2. She doesn't clean up after herself (which is inviting rodents an insects into the space). Let the manager know that you can't live in filth (because of your Hyperosmia). Report that you think the apartment needs to be exterminated because of her.
  3. She is verbally abusing you and it's causing you anxiety.
  4. She's attempting to keep you from your own room through intimidation and verbal battery.
  5. She's stealing food.
  6. You think she may harm you or herself. Make certain that you let people know that you are afraid of her. You didn't leave your room because she was triggered. You left because you felt intimidated and afraid. Tell all your friends that she is not stable and that she is actually worse now than when she initially went in to the clinic.
  7. Try to have your shitlady friends witness as much of this as possible. Use them as witnesses when filing reports/complaints against her.
  8. Walk around in your skimpy gym clothing 24/7. Shitlady wear is now your school uniform until that ham is out of your apartment.

EDIT #1: If you don't want to have Hyperosmia, go down to the local Walmart pharmacy and buy a box of surgical masks. Wear them any time you are around her or around her filth (if you really want to "trigger" her, get some blue surgical gloves and wear them whenever you have to touch anything in the kitchen). Make your Shitlady friends wear the masks too. Spray the shared furniture and space with febreeze or some sort of anti-bacterial disinfectant everyday.

EDIT #2: Another way to get her nailed with the good folks down at psych, is to leave a mostly filled box of Crispy Cremes in the trash. Also buy some eclairs, take a bite out of each one, put them back in the box and put them in the trash. Make sure she will be able to identify what are in the food boxes. Do this with other foods which are known "crack-cocaine" items to fatties. Make certain to catch her eating out of the trash. Immediately go to the mental hospital that treated her and report to her doctors that she is now eating trash out of the trash can.

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[–] TuxInATornado 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

How big around is a 4x leg? Girls sizing is a bit nebulous of a topic even without planets involved.

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[–] JustABitLost 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

What was her specific complaint when she was admitted? I suffer from pretty bad (diagnosed) anxiety but when I'm "triggered" it never EVER manifests itself that way. She really just seems like she's acting like a toddler. They're the only ones I know who would let out an inarticulate shriek when confronted with something they hate.

Stay safe. I'm not joking in the slightest when I say that she seems seriously unhinged and I'm legitimately worried for your well-being.

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[–] Minigun 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

next time, can you like have your cellphone record sound and post it. I wanna hear a pig squeal. Its been a while I have heard farm animals going psycho.

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[–] GreffeduFoie 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

You could use that to your advantage to get out of rooming with the thing.

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[–] Hegemon- 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Oh my god... Just fucking slap it

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[–] PorkerPatrol 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I would have used a phrase I very rarely ever use, having almost done it myself twice in my life: "OK, kill yourself then. This is my home too."

Of course with colleges being the goddamn hug box safe spaces they are I'm sure I'D be the one thrown out.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Duke_of_Dung 0 points 50 points (+50|-0) ago 

To me, he said, "It's really triggering for you to be here! Can you go somewhere else for a little while?"

Fuck that! Its your home too, if it can't handle you being there it needs to go back to the looney bin.

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[–] BlackBetty 0 points 38 points (+38|-0) ago 

Oh no. She did that specifically because she is setting up OP. I have no doubt that she and her friends are trying to get OP kicked out of the apartment. Which is why OP needs to report her for EVERYTHING and ASAP.

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[–] convenientreplacemen 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

Indeed. There is a very specific type of person that will use the word triggered in that kind of a situation.

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[–] Supreme_Authority 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Tell that white knight cuck that you live here and you're not leaving. Ask him why doesn't he take the beast to his place?

[–] [deleted] 0 points 47 points (+47|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] whyme5005 [S] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

I...love you. Can I please print this and put it up in a place of honor?

[–] [deleted] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] NotMrS 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

That is... so beautifully epic!

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[–] Unsung_Heroes 0 points 36 points (+36|-0) ago 

Buy a pizza, take it home, and eat a slice in front of the beast. Moan a little bit, make it sound orgasmic, then throw the rest in the trash.

Trigger all the things

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[–] BoracicBaronetYr 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

As if the trash would keep the piggie from claiming its found treasure.

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[–] ScreaminMime 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

Plot twist: Veggie pizza

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[–] LochTessMunster 0 points 28 points (+28|-0) ago 

I remember when we just called this "crazy."

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[–] CIShitLord 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

We should start going old school and calling them witches. Then we can burn them.

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[–] juhnetikcundishuns 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Do you have any idea how long that much fat would burn? A (in)human candle that smells like rancid bacon and fupa cheese burning for weeks.

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[–] Bureaucrat_36 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Good lord, the fats light crematoria on fire with their bodies regularly! We're not equipped for it, man.

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[–] Hegemon- 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Seriously, as someone who lives in Argentina, we don't have all this crazy shit. Obesity is not accepted, so the person is pushed to improve themselves.

Hope you guys can get past this stupid fad soon and it doesn't spread.

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[–] ShortWarrior 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

If she tries to make you leave again, just say you live there and sit down.

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[–] TeRsEVAn 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

Don't sit down, do burpees.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] Demons 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Ditto. She threw a temper tantrum like a little spoiled brat and got the results she wanted. I would've stared them in the eyes and said no, because OP pays rent and lives there too.

Fuck these people. Let that fat bitch "stress" herself to death.

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[–] OGBaronVonScheisse 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

See if you can send it back again. Be as much of a shitlord as humanly possible, make sure it isn't recording you, and just unleash the resentment you've kept harbored inside. Be as big of a dick as possible and report your findings.

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[–] FPHrefugee 1 points 13 points (+14|-1) ago 

easy to do, I'm sorry this is really bad to say, and against all ethics but report that she threatened to kill herself, with her now previous hospital history they will believe the reporter

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[–] pray_the_gay_away 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Or even better, let her kill herself and get straight A's for the semester!

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[–] level_101 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Wow. That thing really is crazy. If you dont already have a good lock for your door.. GET ONE.

It will probably start trying to destroy or steal your stuff.. or tamper with it otherwise.

It clearly is mentally unstable and a narcissist. The reason it went so crazy on you was because you asked it to do something reasonable and then called it on its bullshit when it didn't. Remember, acting like an adult in college is unreasonable and everyone else should take care of you like you are 4. /s

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