I got one of those really nasty, puke up your toenails 24-hour bugs. Usually when I have one of these things the puking goes in cycles where I feel so much better afterward and then gradually feel horrible again. The worst part is when I'm starting to get better and stay at the "I really want to vomit" stage for several hours without actually doing it before I start to feel better.
So I was at that stage and really wanted to find a way to just push myself over the edge and be done with it. I then thought of Achtung's albums and had an idea. I went through one in its entirety and it did the trick. I threw up one more time and then went back to bed and finally got some sleep, feeling much better. All of these butter golems posting naked pictures of themselves only exist because of fat acceptance and so today, I am grateful for fat acceptance.
Unfortunately, I am now doomed to become a fatass myself as I have not eaten in a day and a half, which means I'm undoubtedly in starvation mode and thus absorbing 6000 calories/day from the air.
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[–] Nofatpeople 0 points 43 points 43 points (+43|-0) ago
This is the first time, in all of history, that fat people were useful for something.
[–] 4320106? 0 points 15 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago
They'd be useful for slow moving infantry units... Have the Obeasts in front, to take all the hits. Like a phalanx.
[–] DylannStorm 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Dude that's genius! You've found the solution!
[–] silver_polish 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Sit between a bunch of fatasses in a M113 and suddenly it can stop a RPG hit.
Building off that thought, whoever the fuck thought aluminum was useful for armor was probably a fatass shit-for-brains, too.
[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
They could be used as doorstops.
[–] BigBoss 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Yeah, in a castle or something.
[–] seniorscubasquid 0 points 29 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago
"See!!! These shitlords are just jealous anowrexick bitches! THEY THROW UP CUZ THEY'RE JEALOUS OF MUH CURVES!"
-the lurking fatty
[–] inablackbox 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
It sounds like your digestive system is going to need a stern talking-to for its inherently fatphobic adherence to mainstream beauty standards.
[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Fat acceptance helped me learn about BMI. Without it, I never would have known I was overweight and approaching obesity, because nobody ever said anything to me about it, including my own doctor and a few specialists who really should have said something. Fat acceptance helped me lose weight.
[–] GitGudGluttons 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Eh, if fat accesptance didn't exist, your doctor and specialists would have probably mentioned that you were overweight.
[–] journalistsarelazy 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
You didn't eat at chipotle recently by any strange coincidence? Seen that a few times on fph in recent months.
[–] Swole_is_life [S] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
No, and it followed a virus pattern with fever, chills, and aches, not a food poisoning one.
[–] journalistsarelazy 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Sounds rough, you must have overdone it at the gym causing your lowered immune system. /s
[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Hope you feel better soon. Bugs like that are awful, though thank god they pass quickly.
[–] la_fupacabra 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I've done this. It's really the best for getting every last lurch and gag out when you have a stomach bug. So, thanks Achtung, for having the strongest stomach of us all.
[–] ikransfly 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
You're gonna get through this! It's good to go into starvation mode when you're sick, and it's actually really healthy to fast as well as not eat even if you're hungry because the added level of stress that comes from hunger can really give your brain a workout.
So glad FPH could help you like this