Hey FPH. First time poster, long time lurker.
I'm going to get right to the point. There is a fat piece of shit that is in my history class that is absolutely disgusting to the point that I almost vomited this morning.
His first offense was coming into class with a breakfast burrito that looked about the size of a small baby. He opened it up, and I swear he inhaled it through his nose. All I heard was snorting and oinking while he shoved it into his face hole and when he was done, he burped loudly. Luckily, it was before people (aside from me) were in class, so they were spared from his grossness.
However today, he was much worse. He (again) brought in the infant sized burrito, stuffed his face loudly, and burped loudly. Over, and over, and over, and over again. What made it worse was that I could smell it from my seat. It smelled like the kind of shits you get after a long night of drinking and eating greasy food. Then, he did it. He started farting. I had to finally get up and leave to keep my coffee from making a second appearance. Luckily, someone else came into the class and he knocked it off.
I'm not going to claim to be a perfect princess. I can hold my own when it comes to burping and farting. But what the FUCK makes these fat motherfuckers think they can just throw out all manners?! Is there just a point where they go "fuck it" and act like the pigs they resemble?
Thanks for letting me rant. I feel a lot better now.
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[–] Broseph_Brostar 0 points 15 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago
They don't resemble pigs, they are pigs. people who allow this kind of damage to happen to their body by their own action have intentionally suppressed their higher functions. Literally everyone (even the high-denial HAES fuckers, it's why they spend so much time claiming it doesn't) know that being fat kills you. These people are literally saying "I would rather eat now than live later." Anyone with higher reasoning functions can see how this is a bad plan, but you'll note that fatties often make the argument "I don't want to live to 100, I want to have a good time." by which they mean they want to live to 40.
They really are subhuman, and the worst thing is that they opt into it.
[–] TheRealAmalek 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Its worse than that a 350lb eat beast has less mobility than my Grandpa had when he was 90.
[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
Next time, you should go to class wearing your hottest (yet appropriate) workout gear and sit in front of him. When he brings the burrito out, give him the most disgusted look, then go back to taking notes or whatever. As soon as the belching starts, get up, give him your most disgusted look, and go to the other side of the room.
If it tries to flirt with you, tell it, "sorry, but you eat and behave worse than an animal and I'm not into bestiality."
[–] SonicTurtle [S] 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
I think I might. I just bought a new pair of running pants I've been needing to break in. Sounds like I have a perfect opportunity.
[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Hehe. Have you seen him checking you out?
[–] caesah 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
It's a university. Call a pig a pig at one's own risk, don't be surprised if it's reported to (and taken seriously by) the prof, security, or admin.
[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Then you can pull the woman card and say it raped you with its presence.
If they want to make university a fucking safe space, use it to your advantage.
[–] veganyogi 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
This is totally appropriate too if he's being disturbing. Just make sure he realizes what he's done. The disgusting look is one way to do it but I would probably use mean bitch stare in this case.
[–] ridsloth 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
College? High school? I would love to throw a serially burping, farting fatty the fuck out of my classroom in shame, but it would make the process easier on me if a human student would complain to me about the biohazard. Just saying. ;)
You know, writing those sentences, I was forced to consider whether I really have authority as a grad student instructor to remove a gas giant from class on the grounds that they are a slovenly shit oozing pile of rot behaving like a feral animal. Sadly, I probably don't. Standards of decency in public are just fucked.
What's double fucked is the social conditioning we have to turn a blind eye to this filthy degeneracy all around us. Ugh. Sorry you have to share a classroom with that.
[–] Donutsinmyholes 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Check your handbooks. I feel like the unis I know allow professors to remove students if they are being disruptive (with certain restrictions like the distraction being repeated or some thing like that.)
Better yet ask a prof that not all reaches intro courses. Odds are they have some war stories.
[–] metalmau5 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I hate hams that can't wait until they're not in class to eat. A ham I posted about before had the audacity to show up late again and eat some pungent bowl right next to me. It was really distracting.
[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Farts and burps are natural, but it's still rude as fuck to just sit there with no shame and do it. At least try to be discreet about it. Rude, disgusting fats.
[–] hulkingmanbeast 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
No shit. But probably lots of shit.
At least go to the bathroom and let it out there. But that's like a two min walk and muh knees amirite?
[–] DeathBeforeFUPA 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
You have to call these pieces of shit out on their behavior, preferably loudly with lots of people around. This is how they act 24/7 ... Me, me, me, me ... If he busts ass or burps in class stand up, call him a "gross fucking pig" and that you "will not put up with his disgusting body functions and odors". Then collect your items and move to the other side of the room sitting on the floor if need be. Chances are he won't come back and if he does more people are going to call him out on his shit.
[–] la_fupacabra 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I dunno man. I would've stared that fucker down, and if it didn't quit I would've said something. There's no excuse for behaving like a goddamn trailer-trash piece of shit in public. Do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home, but I don't want to be subjected to your bodily functions.
[–] 4306900? ago
Eat beasts are not human. Manners are things that matter to humans.