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[–] Sandow [S] 0 points 34 points (+34|-0) ago  (edited ago)

STORY: Each one is 18 years old. One human. One pug who looks like a divorced single mom with kids at home and one sow who looks like she's worked on an oil rig drilling Nutella deposits.

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[–] ShitArchon 1 points 8 points (+9|-1) ago  (edited ago)

It's a shame how wrinkled they are--including the thin one on the left! I thought 18-year-olds were supposed to be nubile and hot.

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[–] forklifts5x5 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

This is a great post, I had no idea what they were.

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[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Didn't read your title first and thought it was daughter with mom and older aunt. Wow.

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[–] 4201477? 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

You get my voat for shitlord of the year, and it's only February.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] forklifts5x5 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

I would have called the middle one early thirties and the ugliest one in the 40's.

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[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

30s?

...hey now. I'm almost in my 40s, and I don't look anything like those. I'll bet most guys would choose me over them... and I'm a guy.

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[–] Shitelord772 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Which would you prefer?

A: Youth

B: Shit-tons of snacks

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[–] ChineseCaptcha 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

The descriptions are right on target.

Though I guess the middle one only looks like a soccer mom because it's become accepted to let yourself go after giving birth. It's a bit like the sea squirt life cycle - at the end of their larvae stage they settle on the bottom of the ocean and eat their no-longer-needed brains. Having popped-out children the soccer mom jettisons her no-longer-needed femininity and eats ... well, anything it can find, it appears.

I'm glad my wife doesn't belong to that species.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] ChineseCaptcha 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Right you are. I really meant this to only apply to those soccer moms who let themselves go.

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[–] Sandow [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Googled "Sea Squirt Life Cycle" just in case anyone was questioning /u/ChineseCaptcha. If you're interested in keeping your lunch down, don't go to the internet for details. ChineseCaptcha is right on the money.

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[–] ShitArchon 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Like the daughter in Paul Blart 2. Supposed to be only 22, and she looks like she could be Kevin James's wife.

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[–] RockAddict420 1 points 3 points (+4|-1) ago 

I'm so glad that I'm 87 pounds so I don't look so haggard at 26 like an ex friend of mine from high school

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[–] tangemann 1 points 3 points (+4|-1) ago 

Um no offense but 87 lbs?! That sounds pretty low... that being said I don't know your height.

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[–] RockAddict420 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I'm 4'11" according to the imperial measuring system

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[–] Fattumblrina 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I'm not trying to downplay the one in the middle, she's nasty too. But that ditch pig on the right looks 45.

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[–] Lilina 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Run away human, they're going to try to make you fat!

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