So, I'm an exotic dancer and my job requires me to be in top shape; the better I look, the easier it is to attract customers and make $$. My club is an upscale place, but they pride themselves on having a vast array of body-types for your viewing pleasure.
The problem is, some girls will start off as "curvy" (in the tradition sense,) but long nights of drinking sugary, $10 shots with names like Purple Pussies and Plum Suckers quickly leads them to become fucking hambeasts- before they're given a warning and eventually let go. I've literally NEVER seen a single chick who got "warned" ever actually lose the weight and keep her job. Just imagine a fat chick, in a 2xs too small thong with pendulous breast, sporting a stereo-typical "I'm so fucking hot and you should give me money" attitude...ugh. Coincidentally, these are always the same chicks who get in trouble for fucking customers.
We're a club, not a fucking brothel.
Onto ham customers. Ugh. I'll try to keep this short but FUCK I have so much rage.
There's a guy who comes to the club just to see me, but I refuse to call him my regular, because I hate him. Not sure how tall he is, because I wear 7 inch heels and that distorts my perception quite a bit, but he looks about 5'5 and AT LEAST 80 lbs overweight.
Every time he comes in, he asks me to take my glasses off because "they hide my beautiful Chinese eyes." I'm fucking half Phillipino, half white. We proceed to the lap dance booth and he unbuttons his shirt, exposing his smelly, hairy gunt. I say WTF and he's like, "I just get hot, I'll give you an extra $20 a song" and well, fuck it, if this guy wants to give me $45 a song, fine. But I let him know I'm not fucking touching him and he can't touch me, which he complies with.
The conversation is what really gets me though.
"I just need to lose like 5lbs, right? Then I'll look great. I've been doing -stupid fad diet- and it's really great. It's too dark to see, but my abs are rock solid."
I tell him the wonders of CICO management. He tells me he took a nutrition class in college, so he knows that different bodies process calories differently. He's a lawyer, and although I dropped out of college after sophomore year because I ran out of scholarships (my biggest one was literally taken from me because the state i live in ran out of money, fuck the poor,) I went to a much more prestigious university than him. That doesn't stop him from telling me this when I begin to argue thermodynamics with him...
"College doesn't just teach you, they teach you how to think critically. We don't know how the human body work yet. Everyone is different. I could eat 500 calories a day and swim 100 laps a day and I'd still never lose these last 10lbs."
I just turned around, under the guise of continuing the lap dance and gritted my teeth for the next 5 songs.
I'd stop taking him as a customer, but he drops about $450 every time he comes in, so I just say fuck it and smile. At least he doesn't try to touch me.