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[–] GandolfHitler 0 points 36 points (+36|-0) ago 

Encourage him to quit smoking. Exercise like mad. He might be blinded right now, but you'll be doing him a huge favor if you help remove this beast from his life.

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[–] AnoInc [S] 0 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Trust me. This is how my mind works.

"Don't exercise while Ham is around." I took that to mean kick her out of the living room when I want to exercise and let her know, "either go to your room, the kitchen, or outside. It's time for my workout.

Cats getting fat? "Someone's been giving you people food. You know you're only allowed chicken liver and kibble. No more meat until you lose that pudge.

Edit: oh, and my wife has forbidden me from actively sabataging their relationship. Real shame to, but adults are entitled to thier own decisions. And I'll be there with a nice friendly "told ya so."

I also reminded them that "couples who quit smoking together have a higher success rate than when a person goes solo. You know, like losing weight or any other self-improvement goal.

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[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

That's some good shitlording right there. Why is BIL fucking with a ham anyway? And it's your house, so kindly tell them to fuck off, you'll do as you please. How fucking entitled can people get?

I need more stories now. This ham sounds like a loud, needy, attention whoring fatass. Those are the best to shitlord.

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[–] BlackBetty ago 

You're a beautiful man.