Here's my wicked good business plan.
Step one: set up online store with no personal contact info, only a generic email. Make the return/refund policy super sketchy so you can't be on the hook.
Step two: make massive shirts, like HUGE ass shirts. Cheap material. Sell them on this store as XXXXXL fit's too big teehee plus size for "curvy" girls. Market the fuck out of them on social media and tumblr.
The shirt in question: In big, bold, black letters, the first line is FAT then underneath, in some gorgeous sparkly fancy letters the second line says is beautiful or is perfection or is proud or whatever bullshit the hammies will eat up. The second line will be customizable in colour, pattern, font, and message.
The customizability will account for 1) the OUTRAGEOUS pricing so we break even and make money and 2) and excuse for why it takes so mysteriously long for people to receive their shirts.
Start saving up orders. Save up to a few hundred orders. Send "progress reports" to buyer's emails "Your shirt has been printed! We will be adding your personalized flair shortly!" to appease the herd and keep it quiet while they wait.
Then send out the shirts in a mass delivery, like a shirt bomb on the fatty world.
Here's where it gets shitlordy: the FAT line is your regular silkscreen print. Black, durable paint.
The customized second line washes out completely.
Just imagine hundreds of fats, excited about curve worshipping shirts, ready to show the world how perfect and bold they are... Only to have their shirt simply call them "Fat." All the pretty flair gone, the beautiful message gone. Just fat. Nothing more.
Because that is what hams are. Fat, and nothing more.
Delete online store email, put notice on online store that everything is backordered and they're unable to contact people right now. Ghost the website.
?????
Profit.
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[–] FrostyTheSwoleMan 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
Step 1. Delete this post immediately so it cant be traced back to us.
Step 2. DO EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID.
I would recommend instead of using an ink that will wash out do some half assed bedazzling so it falls off in a convincingly accidental way over time.
[–] FatShamingShitLady [S] 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
nah, if it fades it loses shock value. It must disappear.
[–] [deleted] 1 point 12 points 13 points (+13|-1) ago
[–] FatShamingShitLady [S] 0 points 17 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago
Poor quality is not illegal :P And if they agree to terms and conditions stating that damaged caused by users will not be refunded or exchanged... then it was the user who damaged it. It was perfectly fine when it arrived :D teehee
[–] sonic_sabbath 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Just put a note in the disclaimer that text dissapears after wash. Fats will never read it.
[–] [deleted] ago
[–] MightBeADuck 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Outsource to China. Problem solved.
[–] fattieskilledreddit 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
Hahahahahaha, assuming hams do laundry, good one!
[–] FatShamingShitLady [S] 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Or they can sweat out the ink ;)
[–] SUPA_FUPA 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago (edited ago)
That sounds cool! That means I can buy a townhouse with personal attached garage and a big black Jeep Wrangler Unlimited with the works from its highest trim level and have the "FUPA HUNTER" decal on the back window of the Jeep! I gotta try something like this! Not to mention, how come advertising agencies don't make shirts with business info and logos on them for fatties? If we turn fatties into walking billboards, we can profit off of them more! But this might be a bad idea though for potential ham rage...
[–] FatShamingShitLady [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Ham rage is good when they can only attack a deleted company email with no personal contact info whatsoever :3
[–] SUPA_FUPA 1 point -1 points 0 points (+0|-1) ago
Then I'd make more money if I set up hidden cameras in their home to record their rage then and post them on YouTube just for kicks. When they claim that we can't hurt their feelings, I'll show them those videos instead to prove otherwise. In America, there's opportunities for shitlords! We should capitalize off of humiliating hams! I'll never have to work again and I get more time at the gym haha!
[–] NotMrS 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Theory is sound, but Fuck No. I wouldn't want hams advertising my business.
[–] LetsBeNakedOutside 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I Love it!
It started to sound exactly like Mess Dumpster's scam, which I also liked.
My only suggestion, to keep them from doing some sort of class action in you (after that lawyer is doing that to Mess, it would be pretty easy to organize another) would be to look into that UV paint so it only shows up in the sun.
The word FAT could be there in regular IMO, but in order for the second line to show up, they have to be in the sun. It's a win-win really. Either they don't go in the sun and the shirt is truthful, or they go on the sun to start the bacon cooking process.
Plus I think that ink costs more, so it's an excuse to charge more.
Think about it!!!
[–] FatShamingShitLady [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Or better, have the invisible UV ink say "OBESITY KILLS" which only shows up over an otherwise regular,pretty patterned shirt. :D
[–] Moonshine_Sonata 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Put that on the back!
[–] DessertFox 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Use white shirts, and do the "is beautiful" part in watercolor. You could use a stencil and, with a bit of practice, make some cool designs with the watercolor effects.
It will completely wash out once it gets wet.
[–] FatShamingShitLady [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Perfect!
[–] Lilina ago
This is brilliant!
[–] Moonshine_Sonata 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
[–] HateCumbuckets 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Hmmm I know a clothing manufacturer too. Will consider based on the legality.
[–] FatShamingShitLady [S] 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Print on a tiny tag buried between other tags "dry clean only" so when they fuck up by putting it in the washer we can say it is user error and they did not follow directions. User error = non-refundable/non-exchangeable
[–] Elcycs 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Make it a feature. Call them 'customizable' and then mention in the small print that the custom message will wash out easily so you can update it at home with a new one. Now it works as promised!