Archived Yay ! Fat Ass Barbie is Here to Lardify the Masses..... (time.com)
submitted ago by whalesongmakesmyday
Posted by: whalesongmakesmyday
Posting time: 4.9 years ago on
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Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
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55 upvotes, 2 downvotes (96% upvoted it)
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Archived Yay ! Fat Ass Barbie is Here to Lardify the Masses..... (time.com)
submitted ago by whalesongmakesmyday
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[–] whalesongmakesmyday [S] 0 points 37 points 37 points (+37|-0) ago (edited ago)
Fucking saddest words ever put into print , “but we recognize she’s the future.”
Human-sized women of the world unite against this abomination!!!
[–] redditHasCooties 0 points 13 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago
Jesus... even fucking Mattel gave up fit women. That's fucking sad!
Also, I'm not feeling that great about being single right now, if that's the future, I better look for a shitlady ASAP.
[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I do like the petite and tall barbies, though. Just not the fatass.
[–] twitch1982 1 point 35 points 36 points (+36|-1) ago (edited ago)
Kids don't give a fuck, and don't want your fat acceptance bullshit.
Read the whole article, fat moms like it, kids think it's fat and stupid.
[–] prisonersandpriests 0 points 14 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago
Fat moms are the ones with the debit card. They'll force Blubber Butt Barbie on their kids.
[–] ShortWarrior 0 points 17 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago
Blorbie
[–] mtlionsroar 1 point 5 points 6 points (+6|-1) ago (edited ago)
Yeah, they say another girl wouldn't call it fat because she didn't want to hurt it's feelings. Even she knows that fat = bad
[–] scootycreampuff 1 point 25 points 26 points (+26|-1) ago
OF FUCKING COURSE they give it blue tumblerina hair. Fuck me.
[–] Achtung_Shitlord 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Just wait, it will come with septum and face piercings. Then it will have some polygender, gnderflux fat thingy wearing ill-fitting men's clothes calling itself the "boyfriend", they/them pronouns, please.
[–] Sops 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
They could even sell kits to add tattoos of pizza and ice cream.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 20 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago (edited ago)
[–] redditHasCooties 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Ginny Rommetty, CEO of IBM, she commands a company that employs almost 400,000 people, her annual salary (bonuses and other perks aside) is close to $20,000,000 a year.
Mary Barra, CEO of GM, she makes over $16M a year, she heads a company that employs over 216,000 people (so basically, if you count everyone in Salt Lake City you'd still be 26,000 people short of the number people whose jobs fall below hers at the company), GM declared a revenue of almost 39 billion dollars in the last quarter of 2015.
May-Britt Moser is a Neuroscientist who won the Nobel in Medicine in 2014. She's also the head of her department at her University in Norway.
General Ann Dunwoody was the first female 4-star General in the history of the US Army. During her time (she's retired now) she managed the largest logistics operation in the history of the US Army (which is not exactly small).
There are thousands of others, but I'd say those are better examples of "empowered women," you know, considering they are either women that can wield power over literally hundreds of thousands of employees any day of the week, or send ripples throughout the economy by decisions they make at work, or because they can speak at a conference anywhere and large groups of people will stop and listen.
Being fat is not power, it's just personal neglect. Power is power.
[–] The-Nard-Dog 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Just imagine if the business world wasn't so internally and openly fatphobic, these mildly capable twigs would be quickly replaced by REAL women who actually know how to fix problems.
/s
[–] PsychoSkinnyBitch 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I wanna make sweet, sweet love with this post.
[–] ShortWarrior 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
How about muscle?
[–] Carsandsarcasm ago
Crossfit Barbie. I don't know if it's real.
[–] CriticalMass 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
I thought that was like the point of Barbie. As a kid it was like Barbie was a vet, a doctor, a fucking astronaut, etc. and had a sweeeeettt house and car that she earned for herself (at least in my world). That's empowerment.
[–] Fierce_skinnybitch ago
That's why I think this marketing plan will fail...
[–] GandolfHitler 1 point 19 points 20 points (+20|-1) ago
Shitlord Haiku:
New Beetus Barbie
Acclaimed for her realism
Why are our kids fat?
[–] Corruption22 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
Is Barbie's new career claiming benefits, watching TV all day long and getting knocked up with a giant side of Tumblr?
If they want to inspire children Barbie should be in gym wear, eating salads, reading classic literature, training to be an astronaut or something! Kids don't give a flying fuck anyway, only the ham moms care.
"I don't want -WHEEZE- my child to grow -GRUNT- up with an eating disorder! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM"
[–] ShortWarrior 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Barbie was an astronaut. Barbie has literally been everything, and she's not empowering enough.
[–] lionheart 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
This is the reason why I'm a shitlord and will continue to be. It's the constant brainwashing of the kids by the fat fucks. I will not allow it to even creep it's nasty head with my kids. I teach my kids to be litle shitlords from early on.
[–] pray_the_gay_away 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
"Millennial parents" is the scariest term I have heard in a long time. If our parents raised us to be narcissists, imagine what our generation will do to the children... humanity is doomed.
[–] prisonersandpriests 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Nah, it'll self correct. One day a very large group of children will look at their parents and say "Fucking really?" and it'll all be over. Think about the hippie sit-ins, except they'll have gym 'fit-ins'.