This is my first post here, probably not the last as long as I'm stuck living with this cunt. I've only been living with it for a week and I've already got tons of stories.
I'm horrible at guessing weight, but
her it's BMI has to be above 50, and there's no way she's taller than 5'2. I'm amazed her nasty kanckles can even hold the weight. It's so fucking round, I've never seen someone this fat that can still walk.
The new semester started a week ago, and since my roommate left to go abroad we had an open bed in our suite. (2 bedrooms with 2 beds each, one living area, one kitchenette, 2 separate bathrooms - one with the shower, one with the toilet.) The open bed was in my room so I was trying to have one of my friends move into the room - which is what I thought was happening. Until I found out the day before from Student Affairs that someone on the waitlist for housing said they "needed this room for medical reasons." Which is absolute bullshit, we just lucked out on room draw and got on of the nicest suites on campus, it's isn't even one of the designated medical rooms on campus. It probably just wanted the room because it's on the first floor.
I moved back into my room last weekend, I thought I was the first one back, but when I opened the door to my room I saw some suitcases on the floor. 'Alright, new roommate is here. No biggie.' Then I heard the bathroom door open and I heard it's stomping. This butterhuffer walks like it's trying to fall through the floor. By the end of the semester the floor will be worn down from where she walks - from her bed to the fridge, back and forth multiple times and hour.
I heard a headache inducing squeal that made me want to kick it in the gut, but I didn't want to lose my shoe in there. I turned around to see her smiling though her fat face, with her arms outstretched,
running walking stumbling over it's own fat towards me for a hug. I dodged her, claiming I wasn't much of a hugger. There was no way in hell I was hugging that thing.
I asked her how she got into this room, and she claimed she needed a room on the first floor.
"No building on campus has more than 3 floors. And they all have elevators." I snapped at her.
"Yeah, but what if the elevator breaks down? Tee-hee." She's right, I doubt a normal elevator could hold her weight.
"Then you take the stairs."
"Plus, this room is one of the nicest on campus."
"Yeah, I know. That's why I paid extra for it." I was pissed but I didn't want to live in a world of drama, so I ended it.
"We should rearrange the room." She proposed. I just shot her down with a blunt 'no' and left.
I called my friend who was supposed to move into the room, who happens to be a fellow shitlady, and let out some choice words and just vented.
I found out that night that this shitbag can't even breathe properly at night and could break the world record for loudest snorer. I drove to the 24 Walmart to get earplugs so I could sleep. The sounds it makes are disgusting.
This got long, quick. So I'll wrap it up with some drunk shitlording that went down the other night.
The shitlady I mentioned earlier and I were in my room getting ready to go out to a house party on campus. We were doing our makeup and trying on different outfits, the ham was just sitting on it's bed on it's side of the room on it's computer.
We decided to do our makeup dark - dark eyeshadow and dark lips. Just because we could, the butterhuffer saw this and decided to give it's two cents.
"You shouldn't wear so much makeup, you don't need it." It commented.
"We know we don't need it, but we look hot as fuck with it." My shitlady friend replied back. I just laughed and rolled my eyes at the ham.
The outfit I decided on was just a pair of black leggings, and tight, long-sleeve black crop-top, and a pair of high-heeled combat boots. An extremely effortless outfit, but it would only look good if you're not fat.
The ham noticed I was wearing heels, and I'm 5'7 already, so with the heels I was almost 6'.
"You shouldn't wear heels, you're too tall. Guys don't like tall girls." It snorted.
"Excuse me? First of all, I can wear whatever the fuck I want. And how would you know what guys like?" I left the room and went out to the living room to wait for some people to come. My friend followed me, laughing.
We had about 3 other girls come over to pre-game with us before we went out. It turned out the ham knew one of the girls we invited over, and that girl invited the ham to drink with us.
We were all around 3-4 drinks in - of course the ham's drinks were mainly soda and that syrup they put in Shirley Temple's.
We heard from our friend throwing the house party that now was a good time to head over. The house was half-way across campus. And it's a small fucking campus. It's about a 5-6 minute walk from one end to the other, so it would take not even 3 minutes to get the house.
When we were talking the ham left to get changed to go out with us, I was annoyed but I didn't plan on sticking with the ham all night.
The ham came out of it's room wearing fucking leggings and a crop top. Almost the same fucking outfit as me, it looked like absolute shit on her, her nasty fupa hanging out. I wanted to vomit.
"Alright, let's head over the X house." Someone said.
"We're going all the way to X house?" The ham complained, "That's soooooo far awaaaaay."
"It's literally a three minute walk." I said.
"No, it's like a 15 minute walk. It's halfway across campus."
"It's a 3 minute fucking walk. We're leaving now. If it's too much walking for you stumpy legs then fuck off." I grabbed my phone and left. Everyone but the girl that invited the ham followed. We waited outside the door for that girl, I was annoyed that she started this by inviting the ham, but she's such a kind person that she can't be mean to anyone. And we didn't want to leave her behind.
The girl came out a minute later, without the ham.
"That was kind of mean." She said.
"It's a 3 minute walk, is it not?" I asked her, and she agreed. "If she's too fat to walk 3 minutes without keeling over than that's her own fault. Fuck her."
The ham kept snapchatting the girl telling her that she was being mean. And since we party hop a lot on this campus she kept saying "let me know if there's a party in our building."
She wouldn't even leave our building. At one point in the night were ended up in the building across the quad from ours, literally a 15 second walk away, and she said that was too far.
I have no idea how I'm going to live with this piece of shit, it's loud, annoying, thinks it's entitled to everything. For someone reason it thinks every guy on campus wants it.
I have so many more shitlording tales but this post is already long as fuck.