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[–] ChicagoSunroof 0 points 96 points (+96|-0) ago  (edited ago)

found out that night that this shitbag can't even breathe properly at night and could break the world record for loudest snore

Any landlord, including a College, needs to provide some basic arrangements, one of them being the right to "quiet enjoyment" of your rented residence. (It has a specific legal meaning. see http://www.duhaime.org/LegalDictionary/Q/QuietEnjoyment.aspx )

You need to call a LAWYER immediately. See if there's a free "Legal Aid" organization. They love landlord/tennant issues. Let them put this beast in a private accommodation. Let the school know you will sue because you can't properly attend college if you can't sleep, and you're not getting the basic accommodation you're paying for.

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[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 27 points (+27|-0) ago 

Oooooh, I like this!

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[–] ScreaminMime 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Whatever you do, do it quick. It will not take long before that room develops an odor that will last well after it has been vanquished.

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[–] hypercat 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

I think schools have special litigation processes outside of normal law when it comes to roommate placement and on campus altercations. This is how they get away with so much bullshit.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] BlackBetty 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

This is true. She will need to breach the "peace" and be an undue burden to your suite-mates as well. See if you can get her on violations of the building.

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[–] Totenglocke 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Can confirm, I had a similar living situation when I was in college and the fat fuck tried to have me thrown out of the room so he could have the biggest room in the dorm as a single.

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[–] Gismonda [S] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I really doubt they'd do anything this semester. Our waiting list for housing is ridiculous. If anything they might tell me to try and get a dingle room next year.

Edit: Meant single not dingle. But I won't edit it out for the sake of GerbilParachuteSquad's joke.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] VRX 0 points 54 points (+54|-0) ago 

I like tall girls...

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[–] Shitlordsocialite 0 points 31 points (+31|-0) ago 

At 5 foot 9 and 130lbs, bless you.

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[–] Mitchhhhhh 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

It's cute what passes for tall in America ;)

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[–] interstate-15 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

At 6'6, tall women are a must for me. Too bad there isn't more of them.

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[–] Angxrs 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago  (edited ago)

How dare your preferences not include 5"2 spherical bags of shit!

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[–] madam_psycho_sexy 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

We are out there! (I'm 5'10" and still looking for my tall swolemate..)

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[–] seniorscubasquid 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

6'4 here, short girls are still my preference. Only downside is the comments we get in public.

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[–] Agrajag_ 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

As a 5'11" girl who likes heels, I've learned to accept shorter men. It's a part of life. There aren't many dudes much taller than 6' here.

[–] [deleted] 1 points 7 points (+8|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Why in hell were you downvoated? Here, have an up.

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[–] RedditRunaway 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

sits there staring from her 5'2" frame Well, alrighty then...I'm actually not that short around here (population of a lot of very short Hispanic women around here), but I guess elsewhere it'd be different.

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[–] ua_ninja 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Me too breh, the taller the better

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[–] dontdoxxmebro 0 points 34 points (+34|-0) ago 

You should get a diagnosis of misophonia from your doctor. Then use that to get the fat moved out, as you have a legitimate condition. That or shame the pig untill it moves back to the barn it came from.

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[–] VegetarianZombie1 1 points 35 points (+36|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Or just keep reporting shit to the RA. Food keeps disappearing, some of your jewelry is gone, other personal items keep getting used without your permission...have shitlady friends corroborate with you.

Theft on many campuses is a big deal, especially in dorms. If you need to, get your parents to bitch to the school as well, saying their good money is being wasted because hammy keeps stealing the food and other items from their daughter and if something isn't done, they'll sue the school for damages.

Edit: also, just ignore the ham. Drop passive aggressive comments about the snoring and slovenliness, but don't be a bully when others are around (like her friends or non shitlords). But mostly, just say things like, "I'm putting my leftovers in the fridge. Don't touch them," or, "you made the bathroom a mess. Please clean up after yourself. It's gross," or, "you snore worse than my grandpa. You might want to get a doctor to look at that because it sounds like you're dying."

Wear more crop tops around and sexy clothing it could never pull off. Have shitlord guy friends? Bring them over and have them talk about how they love tiny, slender fit girls and set them up with your shitlady friends. She asks you to set her up? "I would, but you're really not any of their type. They like girls they can workout with. You know, go running, hiking, biking, stuff like that. Why not try not gross but fat dorm guy down the hall? He seems sweet and more up your alley." "Why? Is it because I'm fat?" "Well, more like you would have more in common with him than my guy friends. Do you not like him because he's fat? That's really mean. He's a nice guy!"

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[–] Gismonda [S] 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

If she's dumb enough to steal food/my belongings I'll 100% report it, but I don't want to lie and risk losing housing for the rest of my time here.

I'm also usually not that straight forward with my shitlording with people I have to see on a regular basis, but I was tipsy, and when I drink I'm brutally honest.

And I definitely bring over a few shitlord guys I know and see what goes down.

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[–] shannibearstar 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

Misophonia is no joka. Shit is awful to live with. Snoring would literally leave me in tears.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] hypercat 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

OH god, my sister used to rub her eyes from allergies and it made this sick squishing noise that drove me to tears. She would also do this weird throat clicking because she was itchy in her throat. I voluntarily moved into the garage when I was a kid because i could not handle the noises she made.

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[–] dontdoxxmebro 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Oh yea I know.

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[–] Gismonda [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

After looking up what Misophobia is, I might actually have a slight case of it. I had a roommate last year - great person, super fit, we would go to the gym together, really funny, but the noises she made while eating made me want to punch her in the face. It's the main reason we didn't room together again.

But if I did get diagnosed with it, I would be the one that would have to move out to a medical single room.

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[–] dontdoxxmebro 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Hey at the least it is a single, no eat-beast required.

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[–] Moonshine_Sonata 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

TIL, going to have to ask my doctor about that one.

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[–] la_fupacabra 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

Give me mooooooore! I love these stories!

Ps that outfit and makeup sound hot as fuck she's just dumb.

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[–] zackdawg 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I like tall girls to usually they don't go all ham on you

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[–] ShortWarrior 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I read a story on the other site a year ago about a she-ham who was, unless it was a typo, 6'5". And fat.

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[–] J_Darnley 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Cue the line from Deuce Bigalow: That's a huge bitch!

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[–] dancemonkey 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Please do more stories of your ham roommate. I will upvoat you. This was very diverting.

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[–] Josef_Mengele-MD 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

"too much walking for you stumpy legs then fuck off"

Maybe it's better at rolling around instead? Give her a chance/push.

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[–] 3982730? 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Cue the gunt punt.

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[–] dutchguy7 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

It can't even be bothered for a 15 second walk? Unbelievable! Better it stay at home than hang out with you I suppose. Keep up the shitlording, I'm sure that won't be a problem considering you'll be cranky from the lack of sleep though.

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