Posted by: petrol-fat-samething
Posting time: 4.9 years ago on
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Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
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66 upvotes, 1 downvotes (99% upvoted it)
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[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Ah yes, lurking fatties? You read that? Tell me again how hot, exciting, and adventurous your sex life is. Don't worry, we never believed you anyway. You seem to forget - we see you waddling at 5ks, talking selfies while sitting down at the gym, turning red from the exertion of walking up a few stairs - nobody that outta shape can possibly be good in bed, let alone adventurous. If you can't even jog in place for a few minutes without a respirator, you're certainly not having hot, exciting, passionate sex. No, instead your phoning your mother in law telling her that if she wants grandkids anytime soon, she better get the green broom and hurry over because you and Mr. Toofattofuck want to have penetrative sex for once and it's virtually impossible without backup.
Here's a rule to live by, if you know what it's like to fupa-dupe somebody, stfu when the topic of sex is brought up. Nobody wants your input and anybody that says otherwise is just trying to coddle your fat fee-fees. Everyone in the room, with the exception of yourself, knows that the most passionate part of sex for Obeasts is planning and eating the
feast"sandwich" that inevitably comes after. That's about the only thing that's guaranteed to come, actually.