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[–] mstumblrinafupa 0 points 65 points (+65|-0) ago 

Did you mention your age? Please tell me you did and its fat face flushed with embarrassment

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[–] gooseberrymark5 [S] 0 points 139 points (+139|-0) ago 

Oh yeah, I blurted it out after she said that, and then her age came out and she got reaaal quiet, reaaal quick.

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[–] AichSmize 1 point 36 points (+37|-1) ago 

Fucking glorious.

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[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

Beautiful

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[–] inablackbox 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I love everything about this.

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[–] etherandhoney 0 points 49 points (+49|-0) ago 

heh, nice job!

It's super brutal how women use the whole "I've had a kid" to explain being a lard barge.

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[–] gooseberrymark5 [S] 0 points 52 points (+52|-0) ago 

What was nice was I didn't have to do anything, she dug her own hole and then rolled into it :-)

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[–] bruhnofattie 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

The hole was probably downhill.

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[–] Convair990 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Like a pig that wallows in its own crap. May beetus taketh it.

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[–] Thinnerprivilege 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Well that tends to happen when you take the phrase "eating for two" as a literal fact for 9 months.

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[–] shitwink 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Somebody should really tell them it's not "eating for two elephants".

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[–] Ina_Pickle 1 point 32 points (+33|-1) ago  (edited ago)

Not super fat at 200lbs and 5'6"? I am 5'6" and I would say anyone at my height and over 160lbs is super fat. I can't even imagine what 200lbs would look like on my frame.

I blame constant exposure to Obeasts for distorting our view of what is fat. I was in Florida last week and was super happy to only see one planet the entire time I was there. It took me awhile to realize that there were plenty of fat people around. I'm just so used to seeing nothing but death fats and their mini-moons, that overweight is starting to look nearly healthy.

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[–] gooseberrymark5 [S] 0 points 30 points (+30|-0) ago 

I live in one of the fatter parts of a pretty fat state. Death fats are so common that regular fats seem normal, and small fats dont really register at all unless I actively think about it. The new normal. :-/

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[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

It's criminal how fat people are getting! Until I joined this site, I just kind of blurred them out in my mind. They are everywhere!

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[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Holy fuck. I almost sounded the alarm over your first sentence!

You're right. 200 lbs at 5'6" is fat as hell! I got up to 147 lbs at the same height. I looked terrible! Worst year of my life.

It is just awful how saturated we've become with actually, technically obese people. They're everywhere!

[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] PeaceLoveAndRamen 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I'm 5'7 and was 170 lbs at my heaviest, can confirm. I looked like a disgusting tub of lard back then I'm 125 lbs now.

[–] [deleted] 1 point 27 points (+28|-1) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] bruhnofattie 0 points 48 points (+48|-0) ago 

Then piss fucking everywhere, it helps establish even more dominance.

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[–] hulkingmanbeast 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

So much alpha it hurts

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[–] Convair990 ago 

If it wasnt illegal to do so id piss on fats, not for dominance, just because thats the highest i regard them. They're beneath a toilet.

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[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Then again, who wants to be friends with fats? Most of us are made to, due to outstanding relationships.

Valid points, all around, though.

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[–] shitwink 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I disagree. The gravity (teehee) that came from the gradually-delivered shitlording was way more entertaining than some generic insult. OP played this out like a pro.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] BoracicBaronetYr 1 point 21 points (+22|-1) ago 

I had a gargantuan fat fuck tell me the other day tell me that my ID was clearly fake, there was no way I was over 21, and that he could call the cops to settle it if I had a problem with it. The look on his face when I whipped out my phone typed in 911 (without hitting send) and handed it to him felt better than cake to a Confectionery-Sugar-Sucker. (I ended up going to the liquor store LITERALLY NEXT DOOR after he angrily accepted my identification, fuck you fatshit.)

I'm 26.

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[–] PeaceLoveAndRamen 2 points 8 points (+10|-2) ago 

Makes me worried for the future. I'm 18 and a college freshman and people legit think I'm in middle school, doesn't help that I dress like a teenage skateboi. It's going to be hard as fuck convincing bars that I'm 21 when I'm ACTUALLY 21.

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[–] justaspoon 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

It isn't too hard. Most bars have scanners that can tell if the I'd is a fake.

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[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Typical power mad fatty.

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[–] dontdoxxmebro 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Its that dad bod bullshit. Almost everyone is fat now. People tell me that I look in my early 20's when Im in my early 30's. The fat fucks and their altered nasty fat aging syndrome has fucked with the normal perception of aging.

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[–] shitwink 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I still laugh a little whenever I get carded, being 28 years old. Thin privilege!

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[–] invisiblecalories 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

It's the weirdest notion to me that women have perpetuated this lie that having kids make you fat. Your body actively drops pregnancy weight like a hot potato. I lost 15lbs within 5 days of birth. Thirty pounds by my checkup a month later. The fats now insult nature saying healthy moms are starving themselves. I got better shit to do like take care of a newborn than worry about dieting, fat cunts.

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[–] gooseberrymark5 [S] 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

Yeah I lost 10 the day of, another 10 this month, and have 10 to go before I'm back to normal. And I dont diet at all lol, just breastfeed and eat sensibly.

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[–] invisiblecalories 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

That's why fat moms are so dumb, breastfeeding allows you to eat more and still lose weight.

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[–] round_isnt_curvy 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I had to start finding time to eat more because the weight was dropping too fast and I almost lost my milk. And that was with eating a bunch of super fatty crockpot freezer meals I had prepped, like gumbo, pork bbq, chicken and dumplings, etc. Definitely wasn't starving myself!

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[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

This is good to know. I'm 25 weeks pregnant with #1 and have only gained about 13 lbs so far, but I used to be super-paranoid that I'd never get my body back. Then I realized it's always hams blaming their inability to lose the "baby weight" on their kids. Not only that, but they see no problem gaining 60+ lbs with a singleton, while they're already overweight. It's mind-numbing.

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[–] invisiblecalories 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

It's amazing, actually. You don't have to sweat it at all. The first couple weeks after birth, I'd weigh myself in the morning and by bedtime have already lost weight. Most of the excess weight is water or blood you won't need anymore, so you'll literally pee the pounds off.

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[–] deuxabuse 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Ever hear of the hcg shot for weight loss? A few years back some of the cows I work with used this and talked about it a lot, I never noticed they lost weight but the shot is Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, which is produced at the highest amounts during pregnancy. So fats who claim they got fat due to pregnancy were taking a pregnancy hormone to lose weight.

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[–] invisiblecalories 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Sounds about right. They should just staple their mouths shut.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] ScottRockview 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Also, hams REALLY hate it when you say things like "I just can't put on weight, I eat whatever I want whenever I want and still lose weight".

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[–] Shit_Lord_EatinGrin 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

"You had to have kids young because we all know you won't live to see your grandkids"

"What would you know about catching up to something? Being run doesn't fat in the family"

Those are my first two quickies

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[–] PeaceLoveAndRamen 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

I feel like the second one is unnecessarily wordy and awdward. Not that I'm an expert in comebacks, but I grew up in the inner city so I know a thing or two about them....

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