Before the story I must preface it with: I work a very serious job, any humor at work is industry specific or financial related. I enjoy that stuff but, at heart, I'm an immature person. In most instances that's no problem but I have a five year old who's just as immature as I am.
So, here's the funny:
My daughter and I go to Wal Mart, Kroger and Target with my fiancé (her mom) whenever possible, my fiancé hates this. We take my daughters Flarp container almost every time. Flarp is like a wet play dough that you shove into a play dough like container and it makes some sweet farting sounds. When mom shops we walk around and make fart sounds when fat people are bending over or making general movements then we laugh and move on. I'm trying to get my fiancé to record this but she won't because I'm "immature", "childish" and "looking for trouble" even though she's a bigger shitlord than I am. I've been working with my daughter on being stable with the iPhone (she laughs so hard it makes the video unwatchable), so I will hopefully have a video in the next few months.
I'm 32 bye the way.
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[–] dreadnaughtfatnot 0 points 14 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago
Adorable and hilarious, hope you get a video made! Would love to watch with my equally immature, shitlord husband =)
[–] Nothanksimgood [S] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Thanks. Working on it now, hopefully within the next few weeks, I'm currently trying to get one of my brothers to agree to go.
[–] Nothanksimgood [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
We should need to make another trip here in the next week or two. It will be my mission to get something together.
[–] wearenotgoingleft 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Thank you, shitlord, for raising another shitlady to fatshame for years to come.
[–] Nothanksimgood [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
It's my contribution to society.
[–] slb235 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Your fiancée is a lucky gal, and I'm sure she's secretly proud of your public shitlording parenting.
[–] Nothanksimgood [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Thanks, she loves the shitlording. Although she says its like she's raising two children half the time lol.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
[–] Nothanksimgood [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Holy shit that's awesome. I could get my daughter to do that. She wouldn't even know what she's doing.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
[–] Nothanksimgood [S] ago
Thank you!
[–] hulkingmanbeast 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Lol, I'm on your age range, similar industry. Totally understand the humor thing. Probably about as immature too. Your story brought a smile to my face.
My thing is I'll narrate fat people. If someone's eating on the bus, I'll start whispering to my wife, "Yeah. Yeah eat those chips you fat fuck. The power of Doritos compels you." She hates it.
[–] Nothanksimgood [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Haha. My fiancé and I do the same thing. We try to guess their meals at restaurants too.
[–] Phuffu 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
doing the lord's work
[–] Nothanksimgood [S] ago
That's me.
[–] LittleBittz 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I hope to catch the video soon. Keep up the good work! My kids are in college and they tell me "you were hilarious growing up," so I feel my work is done, lol. Son and friends recently put 6 giant boxes of laundry soap in the fountain at Lincoln Center NYC & sent the video, so it carries on to the next generation.
[–] Nothanksimgood [S] ago
Gotta have fun in life. Glad we're on the same page there, I just wish I recorded some of the stupid stuff I did when I was younger. One our favorite things to do was to put KY Jelly in people's carts at Wal Mart when they weren't looking. Did it to husband and wife combos. The reactions were awesome.