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[–] Bunraku 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

The letter is mostly good if you pretend it's not sarcastic.

Your army breaches the last defenses of the enemy fort only to find that your princess ate another castle...

"Welp, turn around and go home, we have a democracy to form."

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[–] Ezekiel_Balderdash 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

"The royal wizard! He can help!...Wise Wizard, what magic can remove this terrible curse of fat?"

"The Princess can be cured through the arcane magic of...Eating Less Food!"

"Amazing! You are truly wise!"