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[–] uvulectomy 1 point 5 points (+6|-1) ago 

"...you should be eating at least BMR x 1.2 assuming you have a sedentary lifestyle."

So THAT'S where they've been going wrong. They keep misplacing the decimal point and eating BMR x 12 instead of 1.2. Stupid annoying decimal points. But then again, being a mayochugger does tend to affect vision. Beetus-blindness plus facial fat making you squint. No wonder the beasts always miss it. :P