Archived Future: As Americans Get Fatter, Nursing Recruits more Football Players and Weightlifters (gomerblog.com)
submitted ago by BingoButts
Posted by: BingoButts
Posting time: 5 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
Views: 1081
SCP: 44
44 upvotes, 0 downvotes (100% upvoted it)
~31 user(s) here now
NSFW: No
Authorized: No
Anon: No
Private: No
Type: Default
Archived Future: As Americans Get Fatter, Nursing Recruits more Football Players and Weightlifters (gomerblog.com)
submitted ago by BingoButts
Sort: Top
[–] Superior_Guhnetiks 1 point 22 points 23 points (+23|-1) ago
"families of heavy patients sometimes get upset when they see nurses hoisting their loved ones out of bed like a side of beef."
Well what the fuck do you expect us to do with these fat sacks of shit?! I'm 5 foot 1 and 110 pounds. I'm not injuring myself for some pig that should be left to die out in the wilderness somewhere! As a nurse, this triggers me lol
[–] 3344157? 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Sure, seeing someone hoisted on heavy duty equipment is upsetting, but watching a nurse literally breaking her back trying to lift a 200 lbs leg is totally fine. Got it.
[–] TheTruf ago
Pretty much. Its all 'bout the fatties. They pretty much don't care about everyone else or their health.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago (edited ago)
[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
[–] FatBastardIRL 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
the future is now http://www.phc-online.com/Power_Patient_Lifts_s/46.htm
[–] [deleted] ago
[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
[–] Ruston 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
unfortunately that is a satire article. but holy cow is that a good idea for recruitment.
[–] fth8er 1 point 5 points 6 points (+6|-1) ago
I get 5k is a lot, but Im not sure I want to touch fatties. And if you dont want to see your loved ones hoisted by a lift like a pice of sidemeat, dont let them become fucking obese.
[–] 3rdworld 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I watched a video about a hospital having a "moving team" which was just big ass dudes whose only job was to move the fatties around so nurses and doctors could treat them.
[–] Shitelord772 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Gomerblog is sort of like The Onion for people in the medical field.
[–] journalistsarelazy 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
exoskeleton lifting suits would be my guess for the future.
The "we've got a good lawyer" had me raging. but picturing the scene has me laughing.
[–] NoPenisForNeonHams 1 point 4 points 5 points (+5|-1) ago (edited ago)
Easiest way around that is including a clause in the admissions paperwork that says the hospital reserves the right to protect itself and its workers against preventable injuries via specific equipment and techniques for fat fucks. Too bad if you think it undignifed. At that size, dignity was abandoned long ago.
[–] journalistsarelazy 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
So presumably that's the lawsuit... Lack of dignified care. Is that a thing? Or am I way off the mark.
I think specialised teams are needed rather than potentially trained medical or emt staff going offline so to speak if they got injured. And yeah, a clause sounds good, but hard to implement I think based on 'discriminasun'
[–] Corruption22 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
Any fat fuck shouldn't be lifted or moved if they can't move themselves due to their weight. Let them sit somewhere and lose weight until they can be moved.
My friends pick me up all the time, it's so fun! I can't imagine ever gorging so much to the point where that isn't possible anymore. Those porkers are bringing it on themselves.