0
119

[–] mk46gunner 0 points 119 points (+119|-0) ago 

And queue: "Dearest tumblr, I was sooooo brave today..."

0
76

[–] alc0 0 points 76 points (+76|-0) ago 

"...as I went to my car and cried for an hour"

0
57

[–] ShortWarrior 0 points 57 points (+57|-0) ago 

"My genetics got triggered and I gained 50 pounds of cake."

0
26

[–] mk46gunner 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago 

But only the fiercest tears of bravery, of course.

0
6

[–] uberdoober 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Over a bucket of fried chicken with sides and a gallon of diet coke.

0
2

[–] Zednix 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Whiped away the tears with kfc napkins

0
17

[–] fphwouldntdothat 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

"This skinny CIS scum raped me with his looks!"

0
5

[–] PeaceLoveAndRamen 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

She will probably change the story so that he takes her home. Then she'll talk about how she's "fat but still sleeps with swole guys"

0
3

[–] BowelBaron [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Haha, so true! She's definitely the type that would have a body-posi blog or some shit.

0
94

[–] clamhurt_legbeard 0 points 94 points (+94|-0) ago 

0
21

[–] mayhien 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

Holy cow. Amazing work. You need a novelty account and dedicate your life to this craftsmanship.

0
7

[–] clamhurt_legbeard 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

An account for my artistic renderings? Hmm... I guess I'll call it... /u/Artistic_Renderings

0
6

[–] BowelBaron [S] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Are you, perchance, a police sketch artist? Because that's a very accurate rendering!

0
6

[–] ricecilantrolime 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

fucking pablo picaso over here! incredible rendition.

0
6

[–] Purple_Raven 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

That face!

1
46

[–] Leelem0n 1 points 46 points (+47|-1) ago 

Thank you for having the balls to be direct and honest. I think a lot of people here are "secret shitlords" that hide overt fat hate in real life. It's nice to know you were open about your feelings so there would be no confusion.

0
27

[–] l23r 0 points 27 points (+27|-0) ago 

You would be surprised at the stuff some of my co-workers will say about other people after they notice the Fat People Hate banner on my screen. Like even stuff I wouldn't say. It's as if they have no other outlet and they let the hate flow :)

0
14

[–] PeaceLoveAndRamen 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

You browse FPH openly at work? That's brave of you.

0
9

[–] Vincent6636 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Indeed. Fat people hate shouldn't be treated like some kind of underground resistance movement.

0
4

[–] BowelBaron [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Ever since I first joined FPH on that other website, I've really grown as a shitlord. I would have never been that blatantly rude before, but now I just don't care.

0
33

[–] Blacklightning 0 points 33 points (+33|-0) ago 

Fatty attempts direct game at a library. Gets shot down. Later claims she was sexually harassed.

More details at the 5 O'clock News.

0
32

[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 32 points (+32|-0) ago 

I'd recommend keeping to the buddy system for a while. Never be alone where The Red Ham can corner you. Screaming rape is a classic thwarted bitch move. Best to avoid even the slightest hint of accusation. Especially on a college campus. Be safe, Bowel. (Man, that last bit was weird to type out.)

0
13

[–] bastardblaster 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

This is actually very seriously important.

0
6

[–] u_wot 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Damn, that's three-adverbs-to-one-noun worth of importance. Pay heed to this comment, OP

0
2

[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Sad but true.

0
6

[–] BowelBaron [S] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

I appreciate the concern! Fortunately, there were quite a few people there so I doubt she'd try to scream rape. Some of them even turned their heads towards us after she started getting louder. But you're right, obeasts should not be underestimated.

0
2

[–] FPHrefugee 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I think they are referring to in the future be aware if she's around

0
1

[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Just keep yourself safe, love.

0
18

[–] Gimme_Shelter 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

Willing to bet the fatty goes home thinks it over and decides you were playing hard to get.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

0
10

[–] prisonersandpriests 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

He can't just tell you he wants you. He was probably embarrassed because you were in public. See if you can follow him into the men's restroom and talk to him there. You'll see how much he really likes you when you're alone with him.

0
4

[–] Gimme_Shelter 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

That's quite an accurate extrapolation.

0
3

[–] BowelBaron [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Oh god please no!

0
4

[–] Gimme_Shelter 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Got a bad feeling about this one ... I think your days are numbered, especially since she took the trouble to stalk you all the way to the library.

0
1

[–] the_winter_storm 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

The semester is almost over right? If you can make it to the end, you won't have to be in a class with that thing again. And next semester, if it happens to be in one of your classes, you can drop and pick up the same class for a different time or something like that.

0
11

[–] KitKatLasagna55 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I bet her interpretation of events is like this:

....and then he blushed! He awkwardly shuffled his feet while he gasped ''Wow, wow, you're such a feminine beautiful woman. And so... confident! I'd totally cheat on my skeletal ANOREXIC BITCH girlfriend with you. Wow, you're so not obnoxious but instead funny, I bet you're the life of every party, and that piercing of yours is just so sexy and daring!! Give me your number, I'm all yours, and your Tumblr account so that I can stare longingly at your beautiful curves...'' but then... a skeleton appeared. God was she ugly, no curves, no neck tits, just a single stomach. She GRABBED him by the EAR and he managed to turn his head, look at me with tears in his eyes, while he tore off a piece of paper and tried to scribble his number on it... but she dragged him away. He hardly managed to hastily write 3 digits, while she was SO jealous, I heard her screaming ''Why are you staring at such fun, confident, sexy, desirable curvy feminine women!!!!'' And well, this is why I didn't get his number.

0
2

[–] BowelBaron [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Hahahaha! This is incredible! Made me laugh so much! This is probably a spot on interpretation of what must have been going through her head at the time.

0
11

[–] JohnnySkidmarx 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I'm surprised she didn't ask why you weren't interested in a real woman with curves

load more comments ▼ (23 remaining)