Posted by: tuxedo
Posting time: 5.1 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
Views: 1181
SCP: 30
30 upvotes, 0 downvotes (100% upvoted it)
~31 user(s) here now
NSFW: No
Authorized: No
Anon: No
Private: No
Type: Default
Sort: Top
[–] ilieksnow 0 points 13 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago
Can you imagine all the crumbs and lint that will collect in that furry cover?
[–] ButtarGollum 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago (edited ago)
Don't forget soda stains. And inevitable fupa stink sweat.
[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
That's a great shitlording band name.
[–] ButtarGollum 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
$45 for something that lies to them? What fucking morons. I'll take my scale that is honest any day of the week as most logical people do.
[–] metalpetal 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I want to believe it's shitlords making money off of tumblrinas.
[–] prisonersandpriests 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I do, but in a roundabout way. I don't direct market to fatties. My business isn't related to a person's size in any way, and is actually business to business, so I don't actually market to individuals at all.
Sometimes (often, here in Texas) a moron will put a fatty in charge of negotiating with me. Sometimes it's a relative, sometimes it's someone who has been around a while. Sometimes it's someone that has a weird job description so they're not actually doing anything. This is a terrible mistake. I'm not a great salesman. I'm barely a good salesman. I'm just enough of a salesman to know how to make fat people thank me for charging them way more than I charge actual people for the same or less service. Why? Fat people have poor impulse control. This makes them far easier to negotiate with, without ever lying or pulling out "sales tactics". I'll give you the secret. Right now, I'll tell you how to make bank off of fatties. Write this shit down. Take them to a Brazilian Steakhouse for dinner and get them drunk. That's what better than 75% of my sales budget goes towards. I don't do a lot of marketing, except word of mouth or events sponsored by my vendors.
My employee Christmas bonuses are coming out of the "fatty fund". It's a small company, but everyone's getting bonuses well into 5 figures on top of the monthly performance bonuses that they're all eligible for. It's not a life changing amount of money, but it's a huge chunk of change considering it's only the overage money from fat people who negotiate badly. That fund pays for a lot of the extras around here.
[–] ButtarGollum 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Exploiting fatties is something I would honestly do, it's easy money really. Like the whole miracle diet pill industry is probably run by a group of industrious shitlord millionaires. Or at least I hope it is.
[–] Sosacms 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I'm going to start buying old House of Mirrors mirrors and make a killing.
[–] valkilrie 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Love how the Max weight it can handle isn't listed.
[–] ThinPerson 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
If it bottoms out the compliment reads "Lose weight or you'll die"
[–] DayShaun 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Yep. It's "the weight-loss industry" that is trying to make money off them, isn't it. Not this kind of thing... Not FritoLay, not PepsiCo, not Lane Bryant, not the pharma companies...
[–] ILikeItDeep 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
I hope they realize that this is the only way they'll receive these types of compliments.read: lies It's in the form of a weight scale as a not-so-subtle reminder why no one else says those things to them.
Normal people don't need these things because we're not afraid of the truth, and know what steps to take to change our bodies..
Edit: Mobile copy/ paste screw ups
[–] tucket1 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
You know you're fucked when even that scale says "Well, you're still beautiful of course, but maybe you should jog a little".
[–] l23r 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I wonder what the weights under 150 say...
[–] tucket1 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I think it starts at 200.
[–] CISConservativeScum 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
"Eat a sammich, you stick!" or "Men like meat, dogs like bones!".
[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Next up: a kalashnikov that sprays happy fee fees, instead of bullets!
[–] Lilina 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Sounds like we have a job to do for the hilarity.