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[–] klobos 1 points 81 points (+82|-1) ago 

Ok, for all those in the military. Don't date these fat asses. Patiently wait until you get deployed over seas, hopefully asia they are desperate for western men and they are thin and will treat you like a king. Patience. There are fleshlights now and free internet porn and ways to manage your virgin status. Just anything but a fatty. They are cheating on you anyway.

[–] [deleted] 12 points 14 points (+26|-12) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] INTERNET_TRASHCAN 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago 

*while exploiting his mom's credit, and enriching his wife, who disappeared entirely the millisecond that sweet, sweet, death-pay hit her bank account. "Oh that $400K should be spent on necessary things/services for the funeral? Fuck that. The mom can pay. If I pay, I'll only have $395K left, which will barely cover the 100 vacations and outings I have planned to find a new soldier husband."

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[–] ShitlordedByFacts 2 points 18 points (+20|-2) ago  (edited ago)

All your money goes to your wife by default unless there's some other arrangement in play, which most young couples don't have. He probably didn't intentionally plan this.

The government never assumed when they granted legal rights to couples that you'd be so goddamn retarded that you'd literally entrust half your hypothetical kids DNA, half your money and stuff, and most of your social interactions for the rest of your life to a degenerate beast with no empathy or self respect.

It's like a fad now to hate on marriage in our society. There's nothing wrong with marriage. It's who your dumb ass married that's the problem.

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[–] ICanLiftThat 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Sorry this shit was exactly why I my ex-husband was only set to receive 50k and my parents 350k. We've know each other for 18 months and have no debt or children. Surprise he got fat, like put on 70 pounds (blamed it on winter, seriously), and fucked my neighbors fat wife while he was deployed. Female military are not immune from their spouses catching dependitis.

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[–] slugsrgr8t 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

My SO's ex wife is a fat fat. Thankfully, he has me now and he and I laugh at fat people together.

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[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

My fiancé's ex is fat. She managed to get him pretty fat when they were dating (she started gaining a lot of weight after they were 2 years in). He lost the weight, realized his five years with a lazy parasitic slob was less than he deserved, and traded up to a fit shitlady who's never been fat a day in her life.

While our SO's exes are full of excuses, we're full of ambitions. While they prefer to cut corners and live in a delusional world, we take action and work to improve ourselves. Fat people make terrible SOs.

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[–] Thinnerprivilege 2 points 7 points (+9|-2) ago 

The issue is when they date/marry someone thin, then they come back from deployment to a spouse 100+lbs heavier. Obesity isn't gunetic, having a spouse over in Iraq is stressful and emotional and when people eat their feelings instead of finding a counselor they get fat as fuck.

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[–] klobos 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

Meh. If you eat to overcome stress you are mentally weak and/or making up excuses. It is not as stressful as actually being deployed overseas.

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[–] NoPenisForNeonHams 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

For those in the military, get the fuck out and prevent anyone else from joining until the US agrees to wage war on obesity and actually win it. No respectable soldier should be fighting for fat pieces of shit. After the horrors of battle, the last thing I'd imagine you'd want to see was a bunch of hams tooling around on scooty puffs.

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[–] Red_August 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Perfect scene for a modern remake of Oliver Stone's Born on the fourth of July: scenes of the drawn-out carnage and horror of battle ...then the camera fades and you're transported somewhere else, you get an extreme zoom-in of the face of a battle-weary man with a frozen look of astonishment, camera pulls back and man still frozen, camera pulls back and you see he's in a wheelchair and is legless, camera pulls back more and circles slowly to be behind him so you see what he sees - you're in a Walmart filled with obeasts on scootypuffs locomoting around with no care for the world... - he loses his will to live.

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[–] Nyx 0 points 40 points (+40|-0) ago 

What a heartless cunt. I won't speak ill of a fallen soldier, but this is a prime example why you should never marry a fatty... they're selfish, subhuman filth. My heart goes out to those poor parents and I hope that rotten bitch gets hit by a semi when she's waddling out of McDonald's one day.

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[–] SkekUng 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Ordinarily I'd agree with you, but think of the poor semi. It might get hurt.

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[–] legendaryshitlord 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

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[–] Swole_is_life 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I think the issue is that many of them don't marry fatties, they just turn into fatties.

You can tell which ones are going to turn into fatties most of the time, but good luck telling an 18 year-old guy that this hot girl who wants to marry him isn't going to be hot about 6 months after the wedding.

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[–] ShitArchon 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

How can you tell future fatties if they look hot? I thought future fatties tended to already not be 10s. They have wide faces, for example.

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[–] dancemonkey 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

There are plenty of idiots who join the military. Being dead doesn't make their choices any less dumb. We're a military family and we have met some arseholes on our travels.

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[–] mamamakedo 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

I am so depressed now

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[–] ForgotMyName 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I give up. I can't watch the whole thing. Wtf fatty.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] lefthandpath 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

The wife is just so full of malice. I couldn't watch but a minute or two skipping through it.

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[–] sooperpooper 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

The judge made my heart glad

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[–] draaaak 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

She's good at that.

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[–] DeadHorseStick 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

To bad the judge couldn't take all the money and give it to the parents, as cold on the inside as fat is she is on the outside.

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[–] morbidly_teehees 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

If there wasn't a 5,000 cap in civil court cases, the mother would have gotten all of her money back. This is the most shameful of behaviors and I hope that cow gets treated by someone else the way she treated that mother.

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[–] DopeandDiamonds 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I feel sick now. That poor man.

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[–] Sops 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I don't understand how she kept her cool as well as she did when fatass said she had to pay for the funeral out of pocket. I went into a fit of rage when I heard that.

As a side note why do so many military enlisted end up with fatties, you guys are in peak physical condition, you can do so much better.

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[–] WeebShitLord 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

U.S. Army veteran here (no, not married, so no ham wife). For the Army at least, if you are an junior enlisted soldier (private to specialist, which is E1 to E4, respectively), you are not permitted to move out of the barracks until you become an non-commissioned officer (sergeant and further--E5 to E9). However, if you get married as a junior enlisted soldier, you are permitted to move out of the barracks, and receive additional benefits such as a housing allowance. For a lot of young soldiers, the chance of getting extra money and escaping potential fuck-fuck games that come with barracks life is enticing and as a result, a lot of new soldiers marry as soon as possible, with whoever or whatever seems ready and willing.

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[–] AmazingFlightLizard 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Nail right on the head. It happened to me. Or rather, I happened to me. If I could go back 15 years, I'd punch myself in the face. Well... except for the two beautiful daughters I got out of the deal. I was lined up for great things, but I let her drag me down too.

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[–] gloob_ 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

fuck-fuck games

Is that a specific thing, or just general bullshit?

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