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[–] legendaryshitlord 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

We had voluntary health screenings and flu shots at work, the guy doing the follow ups told me he was happy to see me and knew that I would be a "quick one". The ham that I was talking to had a bunch of red flags (like literal read flags on his report) and was told to see a doctor within a month. Could not stop laughing.

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[–] swohio 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

"How do I look doc?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure you've had three heart attacks since you walked in the room, so...."

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[–] legendaryshitlord 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

"Only three?! HAES!"