So it's healthy week at my office. An office filled with hams. So normally there is a snack table that is ALWAYS stocked with snacks...365 days a year. Snacks include licorice, pretzels, mixed candy (think halloween candy), lollipops, fruit snacks, etc. There are also mixed nuts, which is the only thing I eat from there as it is the only thing remotely healthy, and even those I eat in moderation as it is easy to eat a lot of calories in nuts and miss my weight maintenance calorie numbers...but I digress. The officehams completely destroy this snack cart all year and this is probably one of the causes for our office deciding to do a "healthy week".
So here I am on Monday and the snack table has been changed. It now has granola bars(not particularly healthy ones), fruit, white cheddar popcorn, and fruit snacks. Yes, fruit snacks. The nuts are gone. I have one handful most days and they are gone. So I just went up to the office manager and asked if they could put the nuts out. He said no, because they are too high in sodium. I commented that there are fruit snacks out and those are not healthy. He responded that they are made with real fruit juice and gluten free, thus they should be out there. I was dumbfounded and walked back to my desk. One ham had 4 packages of these fruit snacks (approx 95 calories each) and 2 chocolate chips granola bars she's powering through for her post breakfast snack.
God forbid I have a handful of nuts though, that would be unhealthy.
Will keep you guys updated on more ridiculousness as "Healthy Week" continues at my ham office.
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[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 62 points 62 points (+62|-0) ago (edited ago)
"Froot snaks r healthier than nuts, bcuz froot snacks have froot in them!" - office hams
[–] [deleted] 0 points 31 points 31 points (+31|-0) ago
[–] PeaceLoveAndRamen 0 points 23 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago (edited ago)
guzzles grape Fanta I LUV FROOT!
[–] hulkingmanbeast 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
I... AM.. FROOT
[–] Skyote 0 points 13 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago
OP should've replied "nuts have fucking nuts in them" or something to that effect. Stupid people deserve stupid responses.
[–] ThisIsMyRealName 0 points 33 points 33 points (+33|-0) ago
Typical sugar-addicted fat logic there. Sodium is bad, because it's easy to cut back on. Can't cut back on the sugar, oh no, just eat "healthier" sugary snacks.
[–] NoPenisForNeonHams 0 points 20 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago
Worse still, fat logic thinks being "healthy" for a week constitutes a respectable effort. Instead of reprogramming their behavior to eat in a genuinely nutritious manner, they make short-term, impotent gestures like this.
[–] the_devils_lettuce 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
If you're eating an otherwise clean diet, some salt added to a handful of nuts is no big deal.
[–] ShitArchon 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
How is sodium even a problem compared to calories? Being fat is worse for you than an excess-sodium diet.
[–] ThisIsMyRealName 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Yeah, at least you can piss the sodium out with enough water intake. You can't just piss out sugar.
[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Agreed. To be fair though, you're going to feel like shit when you eat too much sodium.
The water weight is easy as hell to lose, mind you.
[–] BioRito 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
High blood pressure is a bitch when you're a fat fuck piece of shit, and salt adds to it.
It's not a fucking problem for normal shitlords.
[–] smelly_farts 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Well they do tend to synergize, since they both make your blood pressure go up. They also are both added by companies by the metric fuckton to nearly every food in the store which sucks.
[–] 30GoingOn13 0 points 18 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago
Print out the nutritional information for both things and show the comparison.
Also, does the office manager not realize that nuts naturally come low-sodium?? Just don't get the salted ones!
[–] Harry_Areola 0 points 16 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago
White Cheddar Popcorn? In what universe is that considered healthy?
Don't get me wrong, white cheddar popcorn is pretty tasty but I wouldn't exactly call it healthy.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
[–] vordster 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Even higher Sodium levels being unhealthy is a myth.
[–] inablackbox 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago (edited ago)
Just the concept of a "healthy week" is fatlogic in itself. Even if the snacks they chose were genuinely healthy, changing your eating habits for one week isn't going to do shit for your health if you just return to old habits afterwards, and we all know that's what these hams are going to do. It does give them a reason to pat themselves on the back, I guess...
[–] LegendarySock 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
It's not even that. They're not going to change their eating habits for a week and then go back, they'll just add 2lbs of fruit snacks on top of their daily menu and call it being healthy.
[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
It's a pretty sad commentary that Healthy Week even exists.
[–] legendaryshitlord 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
We had voluntary health screenings and flu shots at work, the guy doing the follow ups told me he was happy to see me and knew that I would be a "quick one". The ham that I was talking to had a bunch of red flags (like literal read flags on his report) and was told to see a doctor within a month. Could not stop laughing.
[–] swohio 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
"How do I look doc?"
"Well, I'm pretty sure you've had three heart attacks since you walked in the room, so...."
[–] legendaryshitlord 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
"Only three?! HAES!"
[–] [deleted] 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
[–] ShitArchon 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
THIS. Nuts are calorie-dense but FILLING. Fruit snacks are calorie-dense but not filling.
[–] tomatosally 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
yep. came here to find fellow carb haters. what BS that office doesnt know SHIT about health. getting rid of the ONE source of protein in their snacks. UGH
[–] Navidson 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
It is both dangerous and infuriating that these dumbfucked hams get to make decisions on what is healthy....