I live in Texas (so you're going to get TONS of stories from me) but I love being here. It's a great state if you take out 70 something percent of the population. I go to college on the beach and my boyfriend drops me off and picks me up.He and I are a glorious ShitCouple. So after class I sat up against a wall and waited for him to get me at this three way intersection on campus. I was reviewing my note on a beautiful sunny, beach day when all of a sudden, everything went dark. I glanced up to see a 250+, tarp wearing beast of a girl standing in front of me. I quickly looked back down to avoid opening my mouth, making eye contact or even worse, getting stuck in her gravitational pull.
I put my notes away because she's blocking my fucking light and just decided to wait for my boyfriend.
After a few minutes he finally drives up in his tight, white T-shirt, rippling with muscles. He smiled in my direction and I got up to begin walking to him. Just then the fatty starts walking over to my boyfriends car and smiled at him.
THIS OBEAST THOUGHT THAT MY ADONIS OF A BOYFRIEND WAS SMILING AT HER! GTFOOH WITH THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! At this point I can''t contain it anymore and just start dying laughing as I pass her in my tight, flowing sundress showing off my 23 inch waist and plump butt (which I have PROPER DIET AND EXERCISE TO THANK FOR). I opened the door, lean on it and continued to laugh. As I did he said "So you saw that fat shit smiling at me?" while she was still in ear shot. In order to save herself some embarrassment she pretended she was walking to the parking lot (the most exercise she ever had) and we made out right in front of her. After that we laughed out loud and peeled out.
Sorry tubby, wubby, hot men date HOT WOMEN.
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[–] Hamderella 0 points 43 points 43 points (+43|-0) ago
And then everyone clapped?
[–] legendaryshitlord 0 points 31 points 31 points (+31|-0) ago
That boyfriend? Albert Einstein.
[–] 32DDbitches 0 points 16 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago
It reads like that, doesn't it? eye roll
Good lord, are we turning into the TP version of That Happened?
[–] Swole_is_life 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago (edited ago)
Nah, this is perfectly believable. All she did was warmly greet her boyfriend, that happens all the time. With all the delusional hams out there this same scenario must occur fairly often just based on pure probabilities.
[–] honormyslowdeath 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Nah, then the fatty cried in her car. Isn't that how these sorts of stories end, or is that just the drek on TITP?
[–] Sandow 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago (edited ago)
70% of population needs to be removed
Texas
Yep. Story checks out.
[–] Sire 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
This is almost too perfect. A kill in 1 glorious shot.
[–] Fustilarian 1 point 2 points 3 points (+3|-1) ago
I'm her boyfriend. Can confirm that this actually happened.
[–] cynoclast 1 point 4 points 5 points (+5|-1) ago
No, I am.
[–] NoRagrets 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Not her bf checking in, can confirm /u/cynoclasts's claim
[–] Odi_adipem_populus [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
What is our dogs name?
[–] Fustilarian 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Trick question. We have a cat.
[–] Phillyshitlord 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
You're the type of gf a shitlord needs.
My shitlord gf laughs at my antics but rarely takes part in view of the butter golems.
[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
A fellow shitlady with a 23" waist! Sadly, my butt isn't fantastic yet...
[–] Celtic_Queen ago
You and your BF are awesome!