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[–] speshul_snowflake 1 points 22 points (+23|-1) ago 

Swinger parties are like nude beaches. Usually crammed with people who under no circumstances should ever be seen naked. I've gone to both once. Once.

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[–] NoPenisForNeonHams 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Which is why EDM music festivals and raves are much better. Drugs and debaucherous sex with a much lower fat fuck count. This music is barely tolerable, but the tail to be had is out of control. Granted, you also need to possess an attitude of "drugs are fun".

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[–] prisonersandpriests 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I don't know what the scene is like these days but I used to have the same kind of fun at rock music festivals, except with good music. There's a distinct possibility that it has changed into a hammy paradise though.

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[–] turnonce 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Totally agree with that. Especially raves because there's usually drugs that make you not want to eat and dance for 12 hours... That's not an "obese approved" activity.

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[–] wmeth 1 points 12 points (+13|-1) ago 

This, this goddamned shit right here OP. This is why it fucks me off to a boiling point that I'm into the BDSM lifestyle, but have to keep it to myself. I don't need to hear from the dependasauruses and fatwads about how they read 50 Shades of Shit and went out and bought some fuzzy handcuffs that they couldn't even get around their wrists. I read books, blogs, and do my best to educate myself as much as possible, and it pisses me off when I'm enjoying a relaxed conversation with a fellow shitlord player and a near by, grazing bovine hears us and lumbers over "oh, huf huf, I love bondage too, snort. It weirds some guys out who can't handle muh cervs, wheeze did you guys read "50 Shades of Grey"? I'm just like that girl I think. OM NOM NOM NOM NOM"

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[–] Sandow [S] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

50 Shades deserves it's own level of hell. After the book came out suddenly every Tumblrina knew that there was a billionaire playboy out there eager to help unleash her sexual energy and be rewarded with buttery affection in return. Fantasy is thrilling, but that scenario is nothing but narcissism disguised as erotica. And for your own safety and the safety of others, leave those Spencers 'bondage toys' at the mall. You get what you pay for. If it costs less than an McBeetus breakfast, you don't want to insert it in yourself or your partner.

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[–] Presley 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I was just chatting with OP last time on how annoying it is that there's so many fatties into my BDSM/fantasies. Mostly because if I come across a fatty daddy/dom, he for some reason thinks because I'm submissive that I MUST have some undying desire for him. Gross. Ugh. I just ate too...

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[–] journalistsarelazy 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

Ooh an fph cliffhanger... "Tune in next time..."

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[–] LusciousFox 1 points 16 points (+17|-1) ago 

Is OP's wife going to get a tonguelashing by the hambeast of legend? Find out next time on the next episode of DRAAAAGGGOOONNN BALLLLL ZZZZZZZ!

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[–] FruityRumpusAsshole 1 points 5 points (+6|-1) ago 

Now all I can imagine is Majin Buu tongue slashing a hot lady and I want nothing more than to stab a pair of knives into my eyes. Thanks.

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[–] Emperor_Palpalean 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Damn I was going to do the same thing in the style of soap haha

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[–] joeystals 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Crocs at an orgy. That will stick with me for awhile.

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[–] l23r 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Maybe she was trying to be a nurse or something?

Though most of the nurses I've seen wear running shoes or canvas sneakers.

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[–] joshy83 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

"Licked by a cheeseburger" = best description

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[–] LordLord_IAmShitLord 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

This guy has a way with words. The gem from last time:

Ever picked up a garbage back just to have trash spill out the bottom? She looks like a sculpture of that carved out of Crisco.

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[–] camelCaseCoder 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Eastern North Carolina is destroyed with hams. I am not a swinger personally, but some bdsm is amazing. Everyone in the bdsm community in East NC that tried to get me to attend a swinger party was a ham, with the exception of one party, but it was set for after my moving day.

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[–] DeadMary 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

North Carolina represent! I don't know what it is with the Raleigh/Durham area BDSM crowd, they are all fucking huge. Last time I went to a guy's huge house party, JP I think was his name, pretty cool guy himself. the entire night he kept trying to get me into his "sex dungeon" that was basically a dirty basement with straps that he wrapped around one of the support beams. Actually did end up going down there just because there were so many people going in and out and I knew I wasn't being led down there alone. It was nothing but guys over 35 with pot bellies whipping fat women and I mean FAT, like, 350 with those weird shelf boobs stuffed in a corset kind of fat. Also the amount of fats who are burlesque/erotic fire dancers in this area is alarming

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[–] Sandow [S] 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I don't think you're alone with this sort of experience, which is a crime because kink communities NEED people like you. Humans have to join and push the fatties back to the fringes of society where they belong.

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[–] Sire 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

"He wants my wife more than a second helping of birthday cake"

Horrifyingly imagery.

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[–] Shitelord772 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

"The three of us"

Which three? Or did you mean four?

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[–] HapiChapi 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I think he meant the other three, not including the "goddess"

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