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[–] eapoe 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

This touching lament moved me so much I simply had to respond in kind.

*Ahem*

Lose some of the porkrolls chubster. Jog down to the gym

Do some reps you flabby sow, then you might interest him.

See, idleness ain't sexy and whining don't appeal

To any guy who's worth the time. Your whalesong seals the deal.

No man you might like wants a girl who outweighs him by a half

Lay down the fork, lay off the cakes. Your whining is just daft.

Stop drinking all your calories by hamming up in bars

The failing's in yourself you see; the fault ain't in your stars.

#effyourblankverse