[–] Sire 0 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago 

We see them whales rollin', they eatin'.


[–] BoracicBaronetYr 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Trying to catch me eatin' dirty, trying to catch, me eatin'... dirt-ayay.

My FUPAs so proud, I let it hang out. Swangin'.

They hoping they gonna catch me eat-eat-eat-ing.

These skinny bitches, think they can catch me, stealing all, their candy.

I got her chocolate taped to my left sleeve, and that whore's credit card, ice cream drinks for me.

They see me sipping a Dasani, bot-tle, well bitch this is iced tea.

Eat at Starbucks, I get the extra shots.

The doctor acts, like he doesn't think I'm hot.

Say's I'm too fat. I say fuck that. My size is perfect, not zero, six, twenty-two or twenty-eight but a number being crunched on a Cray Titan (.FAT)

Next to my beetus cup is a Danish, cherry.

Fuck it get two, then watch Drew Carey.

My picture is getting a little too scary.

Lets feel better, eat more Pillsbury.

My tumblr's tricked out.

I picked out.

The selfie where you can't really see me.

Other bitches wanna be me.

Everyone looks when-ever.

I have that trouble breathin'.

If they can't handle me.

They just too skinny, I'll make up a story

For /r/SRS and This is TP.

I'll wear a corset, eat a cake the size of Dorset,

husband's at war he can't divorce it,

if I can't think of a rhyme then I'll just force it.

Because, see, I'm lazy.

You better think I'm pretty.

I deserve this, that must be.

If I'm not a princess, why is that what the plate of my SUV says?

I'm too big to be a Disney princess?

That's not my fault it's patriarchy.

Guess back to T-I-T-Pee.

Hundreds of reblogs, they really get the special snowflake that is me.

As for the rest, screw them all, get more food at the mall.

I'll go to Wetzel's Pretzels. Pretzel balls.

Feeling super trigged.

I should not have lingered.

Seeing the stores, skinny bitches get to be shopping in.

Torsos straight as Glenn Quagmire or Wilt Chamberlin.

You know, you can't tell health... just by lookin'.

Those bitches are sick though, they should get to ordering in.

Oh wait, ah well, fuck facts.

It's about the feels, you can't argue that.

I try to roll home, they see me.

Going 15 on a sidewalk, on my scoot-puffy.

My picture will probably go on TV, they're all amazed, at the real woman that is me.

Trying to catch my permabulk so flir-ir-ty.

Look at me I'm fat, cute and furry, pretty soon there will be an obituary. TeeHee

So, this was my story, of discrimination, and the Goddess me.

If you didn't like it please don't tell me, flee walk away.

Failure is one of my triggers, can you please just honor me?

If you don't it's bullying, I saw it on pub-lic TV.

Look at the laws, stick boy, they now favor me.

I am a drain on so-sigh-a-tee.

But I don't give a fuck, my birthyear was in luck.

I'll get Food Stamps, Medicaid, a better space and that EBT.

Why do you care? This only effects me.

By the way, will you move the fuck over?

I need that half of your seat.

The see me rollin, and eatin, trying to catch me permabulkin'.

Can't not catch whales permabulkin'.

Because, myyyy curve so dir-ir-tay.

fade to black as Handsome Waiter returns and gives singer $100 tip for the trauma, asks her to a nice seafood dinner, and everyone but the skinny bitch bursts into raucous applause

EDIT: So, I'm bad at formatting in the editor, gonna take some imagination to hear this the way I did in my head; nonetheless, I hope all you shitlords enjoy it, anyway.


[–] DietCokehead1 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

+++. I'd upvoat this multiple times if I could. Better than the original.


[–] ThatsNoMoon 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Patrolling they tryin to catch me deep fryin' turkey

[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 



[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

2 Fats 2 Furious


[–] GinTrain 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

This GIF is slightly older, I hope they're dead by now.


[–] ForgotMyName 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

This is made better by the fact that there is a sidewalk just to their right. Get on the freaking sidewalk you idiots. You are not a car or a bike.


[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

Or a human.


[–] foxhound-mgs 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Traffic violation no safety orange vest.


[–] green_man 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Definitely have the mass of 2 cars.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 



[–] Big_Bonered 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Absolutely, I mean, not only are they forming a daisy chain of fatfuckery, but it's wearing a fucking circus tent for fuck's sake. Anyone who doesn't point and laugh at spectacle like this has either been brainwashed by the fat acceptance movement or is blind.


[–] bieberhole_69 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

She's literally the size of a smart car...jesus christ

look at this thing (SFW) http://images.compucars.co.uk/113883/large/smart-car-fortwo-coupe-petrol_11831315.jpg


[–] Mr_Wolf 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

It's always funny when you see a ham getting out of one. They're literally hams coming out of cans.


[–] sabregirl31 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I wouldn't be surprised if it's bigger than the smart car


[–] Acidcore 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I wouldn't be surprised if this whole setup (two blobs on their chairs) is heavier than a smart.


[–] SkekUng 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I see the fat's middle finger, and I can almost hear the laughter from inside the car.


[–] recon_johnny 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I know this is a repost. I've seen it at least four other times.

I'll sit and just watch this on loop for a good 5 minutes every time. Funny as shit.

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