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[–] 2599637? 0 points 69 points (+69|-0) ago 

Please keep these stories coming. This is good stuff.

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[–] BoracicBaronetYr 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Agreed. I'm sorry, this is a terrible thing for you to go through, but I'm entertained by the vicarious safari we get to go watch.

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[–] L1qulik 0 points 37 points (+37|-0) ago 

If she continues to steal food why don't you buy some ghost peppers and put them in pizza slices or other not suspicious food. I think that would be quite a good lesson for that cow.

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[–] Syphrosyne [S] 0 points 34 points (+34|-0) ago 

Slenderella and I are planning to make lasagna next weekend, we may need to boobytrap the leftovers.

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[–] Duke_of_Dung 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

If she's allergic to dairy the cheese will already be a booby trap. Lets see if it is stupid enough eat it anyway or has learned its lesson from your kolache.

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[–] pray_the_gay_away 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Pleeeeeeez do this. It's not even mean. It's fair.

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[–] GlazedHamburglar 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

go with the Carolina Reaper peppers.

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[–] FPSFairy 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Fill it with ghost peppers. Incredibly spicy, but I don't recall them having a scent like, say, Tabasco sauce does.

Also, be sure to write your name on it. Don't take a picture of it (that'll make it obvious yoh were anticipating trouble), but make sure Slenderella will back you up in saying that your name(s) were on it. Technically its not poisoning if you make it obvious that she wasn't supposed to eat it.

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[–] AOU 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Ipecac and laxatives!

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[–] cynoclast 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Firing from both ends. I like it.

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[–] TheJOJ 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Only if you want a mess all over the room...

[–] [deleted] 0 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] Syphrosyne [S] 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

Well I'm planning to finally go to the RA. I've been convinced. Let's hope something can be done about this BS.

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[–] Yo_how_r_u_man 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Have to say I totally agree with sheitstrom. The problem is when you try to accommodate their bullshit you start setting a precedent of how their behaviour will be responded to. If you dont put your foot down as soon as possible it will escalate.

People like her think they can get away with things and every time they do get away with it, or there are at least no consequences, they think they are untouchable.

If you call her out in public every time she will eventually either become too embarassed to act like an entitled cunt or will simply migrate to a different group of people. Either way its a win-win

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[–] Blackguard 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Good decision. Worst case senario, you and slenderella move into an apartment. Usually off campus apartments are cheaper than on campus apartments.

You could always have the RAs convientley come in while she is smoking weed. Dumb stonner roommate locked himself out so he had to get the RA to unlock it (with his room smelling like weed). The rest is history.

[–] [deleted] 1 points 4 points (+5|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] apoptosis15 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

This morning she woke up sick (the kolaches had cheese and she’s allergic to dairy) and blamed me for her getting sick. She was on the phone with her mother and I overheard her say the words “my roommate gave me food poisoning”.

udderly (sic) despicable

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[–] Nwabudike_Morgan 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

You really need to start documenting and reporting her stealing your food and go to the police, or at least the RA and get her kicked out of the dorm.

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[–] Syphrosyne [S] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

I doubt anything would happen. I think there's a minimum on monetary value of stolen goods before the police even bother to listen.

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[–] Nwabudike_Morgan 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

The RA might listen even if the police don't (I guess it didn't actually say you were in a dorm). In any case, at the rate she's stealing food she'll probably exceed that value at some point, and if you have documentation of it the police might listen. Hell, take her to small claims court and teach her a lesson and recoup your costs. You shouldn't have to pay for her food, ever.

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[–] antiplebbitor 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

It's petty larceny until it gets to a certain dollar amount, usually in the low- to mid-hundreds.

You sound cool as fuck, fit-sis. Don't let this fat piece of subhuman shit ruin your college experience in any way. It's actually quite fun, mostly. :)

Just poison her to death and let yourself move on in the aftermath.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Jimmy_Two_Fingers 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Hopefully, via food laced with laxatives.

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[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

RIP, OP's toilet.

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[–] fuckingkike 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

How have you not taken her on a long drive into the woods and then come back alone?

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[–] fahque 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Oddly enough muh jimmys are rustled and soothed at the same time.

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