Archived I fucking hate r/food. It's a hippo watering hole. (fatpeoplehate)
submitted ago by Keenmetal
Posted by: Keenmetal
Posting time: 5.2 years ago on
Last edit time: 5.2 years ago on
Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
Views: 2873
SCP: 65
68 upvotes, 3 downvotes (96% upvoted it)
~31 user(s) here now
NSFW: No
Authorized: No
Anon: No
Private: No
Type: Default
Archived I fucking hate r/food. It's a hippo watering hole. (fatpeoplehate)
submitted ago by Keenmetal
Sort: Top
[–] unicornslayer 0 points 18 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago
It's revolting the way people go apeshit for massive desserts. If you're fucking two years old I get it but I'm constantly made fun of at work for eating 85% dark chocolate and passing on the multiple pieces of beetus fueled sheet cake for someone's b-day.
[–] WileyECryote 0 points 21 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago
Gross work cake is the worst. Cowworkers look at you like you're crazy because you don't want to fill your body with bottom shelf beetus because "it's free".
The fats are a baffling subspecies.
[–] dildonkers 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Man I wish it was just bottom shelf crap you could refuse. Today it's ultra extreme beetus cakes with half a dozen desserts rolled into one.
Everything needs fucking oreos AND nutella AND cheesecake all at once and people get pissed if you refuse their special obese hipster circlejerk cake.
[–] unicornslayer 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
It's seriously unbelievable. It doesn't even taste all that good and it's half icing.
But it's breakfast that is the worst. When my company gives us free breakfast it's almost always bagels and donuts. The hams are baffled senseless why I wake up early to cook my own breakfast instead of sleeping in and eating at the office.
[–] wowwhatafatty 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
It is like every day of their "lives" is part of a game show called eat as much free food as possible. The prize is an early death.
[–] dontdoxxmebro 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Yes, when I tell people I cut added sugar outof my diet I can see the discord in their fuming fat heads.
[–] Swole_is_life 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
It's so hard to get a good dark chocolate dessert but stuff with shitloads of sugar abounds. I don't even bother with anything that isn't chocolate because it's almost always just sugar. Fruit desserts are the worst, they just take something already sweet with fructose and dump sugar on it and stick it in some sort of pastry.
[–] unicornslayer 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago (edited ago)
The reason they are hard to find is that hams are like children. Remember when you were four and wanted a giant chocolate Easter bunny over a piece of dark chocolate? Of course bc you're a kid. But normal adults refine their tastes. I want a nice glass or two of good wine over a shitty 1.5L. I want a nice piece of salmon and veggies over a massive plate of oily cheese/gravy fries. But hams never do that and rather than a light, flavor packed dark chocolate dessert they want an entire cookie cake loaded with M & Ms and whip cream.
[–] mehmuffin ago
I like to make brownies from scratch with dark chocolate. Even more fucking delicious than the beetus shit, and the chopped up chocolate mixed into the dry ingredients makes it into one vaguely molten chunk of joy. Never had it with less than five other people and only made it three times.
Well fucking made beetus food is just an elevated form of mockery to show them you can make better junk food than they've ever dreamed of and still stay 6' and 120lbs.
[–] McDoublechins 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
6" and 120lbs is a bmi of 16.3. I get that this subvoat is for hating on fats, but we hate them in large part due to their unhealthy choices. Having an incredibly low bmi isn't as bad as being a fatass, but it isn't healthy in most cases either...
[–] MolotovCocktail 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
The bento boxes are cute. Everything else looks vomatrocious.
[–] hotterotter 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
But look at the votes. 30ish for that bento box that actually looks tasty and 3200+ for the oreo stuffed cookie that looks like a middle school age child made.
[–] INTERNET_TRASHCAN 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
"I FOUND ALL THIS STUFF AND MADE A SUGAR TOWER. PLZ UPVOTE PLZ."
Also, I stick to /r/castiron for my food talk. Those people are either:
A. Old-fashioned and likely not fat, because death
B. Campers/hikers
[–] eapoe 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
Ever heard the phrase "American luxury"? It just means 'more of the same'. No increase in quality, just heap it higher.
r/food is the very essence of that. Want to talk about a toxic culture? It's right there in the food blogging, 'bacon makes everything better', buffet-battering Mr Creosotes.
[–] WildHamBeastTamer 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago (edited ago)
Yep /r/food sucks, you've got a lot of professional eaters there that use it like I would porn. They don't know how to cook or have any interest in cooking and have no appreciation of the skill it takes to cook a dish. Now lets talk bbq.
As a native Texan your portrayal of BBQ irks me. If I had a religion it would be BBQ. I'm an amateur chef and I think my bbq game is some of the strongest out there.
It takes patience and skill to smoke a brisket to perfection. So tender it's fork tender but not so tender that a slice will break if you hold it up by one end. Smokey, but not so smokey that you can't taste the beef. With just enough salt, that you can taste it but not so salty it tastes salty. There is skill in proper bbq. I know most states don't know how to cook, they seem to think bbq is burgers and hotdogs on a grill, or that bbq is just a sauce thrown on meat but let me tell you proper bbq takes skill.
[–] twitch1982 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2006/12/3/how-to-avoid-a-pointless-argument.html
[–] Keenmetal [S] ago
Sorry I didn't mean any offense. Usually fatties just post any odd BBQ picture. They don't have any idea of good quality that's why I meant it. It's like seeing a ton of burger pictures on there but seldom a good one, usually it's just full of random stuff stapled together.
[–] Thinnerprivilege 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
This isn't a troll, here are the actual top two submissions for the last 24 hours:
http://i.imgur.com/GlM8Sar.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/1MJoLZw.jpg
[–] unicornslayer 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
That hamburger is absolutely revolting...
[–] convenientreplacemen 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
That burger looks like an infected wound dripping pus.
[–] BigBooksNotBodies 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Does that cookie monstrosity look like it's not even completely baked? The center just looks off to me.
[–] Thinnerprivilege 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Well he wanted the cookie so bad he couldn't wait for it to finish baking.l
[–] la_fupacabra 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
There is no world in which that burger is acceptable.
[–] convenientreplacemen ago
Marry Berry is not amused by that cookie.
[–] swohio 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
I just blocked that sub permanently yesterday. The post that did it was a slice of shitty generic pizza laying on gravel at a fair. All the top comments were fat fucks lamenting the "loss" and saying how it was "still good" or "such a shame." Seriously, I've seen more appetizing slices come from Little Caesar's and these fucking butter-Bissells are crying over it like they just watched a puppy die.
[–] slugsrgr8t 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
/r/foodporn is a lot better, imo. You have much better dishes that look better and some of them aren't too hard to make. /r/food is just... sadness. Plus, I can't have gluten, corn, or artificial sweeteners so I can't have a LOT of what they have on there or in general. /tear
[–] ChubsShouldDie 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Just don't go on Reddit. Fascist cunts.