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[–] bkr45678 0 points 168 points (+168|-0) ago  (edited ago)

'I use low fat mayo'

Lol, like that makes that much a difference in your butter/mayo/sauce vomit soup.

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[–] BeetusTrainChooChoo [S] 0 points 56 points (+56|-0) ago 

Probably going to wash it down with a Diet Coke too, gotta watch the calories.

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[–] Syphrosyne 0 points 43 points (+43|-0) ago 

I legitimately starting laughing out loud when I read that. Are you fucking kidding me?

Gratz fatty, you're using low-fat mayo in your heart attack "soup".

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[–] bkr45678 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

I actually saw this post before they edited it. So when I read it when it was posted here, I about fell out of chair laughing.

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[–] fat_handle 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Now that I use low fat mayo, I can feel the pounds melting right off!

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[–] nomvula 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I bet r/keto would wet themselves over this genius new recipe idea.

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[–] Super_Kapowzler 1 points 94 points (+95|-1) ago 

Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo. Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo. Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo. Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo. Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo. Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo. Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo. Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo. Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo. Mayo Soup. I also use low fat mayo

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[–] SPAMplanet 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago 

Mayo Soup, apply directly to the gullet.

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[–] hunt_the_fatties 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

I picture it more as an ointment that they rub on their leg stumps

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[–] UberNado 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Apply directly to the FUPA.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] IndustrialHarlequin 0 points 61 points (+61|-0) ago 

I want to throw up. That is disgusting.

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[–] fitbit_bitch 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

You only want to? I have to throw up

Talk about the world's most effective ipecac

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[–] didntsayeeeee 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Thank you! That's the word I needed for my crossword.

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[–] paisleyterror 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

You know, I went to the drugstore a while back, looking for Ipecac. They told me that they don't carry it anymore because of "abuse". Huh.

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[–] ImYourHuckleberry 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

I couldn't finish reading past the first line or I would have.

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[–] tommychicago 0 points 60 points (+60|-0) ago 

Is that you, Simply Sara?

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[–] Bobsentme 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

pffft, you need a ton of marshmellows and/or syrup for it to qualify as a recipe of hers

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[–] european_summer_fur 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Yeah, too little sugar. Let's send the idea to her and see if she can make it even worse.

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[–] Dumptruck 0 points 47 points (+47|-0) ago 

GUYS RELAX HE'S USING LOW FAT MAYO.

(Said sarcastically as I face palm and walk out in sheer frustration)

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[–] MissScarlet 0 points 40 points (+40|-0) ago 

I like the way she said she started that habit as a teenager, as though that makes it somewhat normal or something, like that's just a thing teenagers do.

I don't know about you guys, but I managed to get through my teen years without ever having the urge to mix mayo and butter and eat it like a soup.

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[–] WildHamBeastTamer 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

I think the worst I ever did as a teen was binge on pizza rolls.

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[–] MissScarlet 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

My worst habit, and it wasn't even a habit it was like a once every six months thing, was dipping chocolate bars in hot chocolate and eating them.

But other than that I can't really thing of any super unhealthy things I ever did.

Oh, I used to melt chocolate chips and eat just a small bowl of melted chocolate sometimes. But again, that was a very rare thing for me to do.

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[–] sidewaythighgap 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I ate a can of chef boyardee today. First time in probably 3 to 4 years. It actually didn't taste terrible. I ate a lot of it in college. Mostly because it consistently went on sale for less than $1 a can.

We also love nongshim ramen around here. It's been months since we bought any. When we do have them, they disappear pretty quickly.

That's all I can come up right now. I put siracha sauce and coconut oil in my Quinoa... find that very hearty... probably a weird thing to do to most people.

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[–] Angxrs 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

My biggest vice as a teenager were those pink wafer biscuits. The chocolate and vanilla ones were not a fave but the pink strawberry ones omg.

Then I developed a cyst in one of my tonsils and couldn't eat the powdery biscuits anymore. Nowadays (post cyst removal) I can't stand them, must've overdone it as a kid. Oh well.

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[–] Dark_Shroud 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Those sugar wafer cookies? I fucking love them and would occasionally buy a pack a few times a year.

I haven't bought any in 4 months and told my mother to stop buying them as well. I want to get super lean again and I don't want my nephew going from having baby fat to being a fat ass.

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[–] MuhCundishins 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Those things are so calorie dense it's unreal. I think one or two of them is like a couple hundred calories if memory serves me right.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Dark_Shroud 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Any parent that turns a blind eye to their kid doing this shit and gaining weight from it should be taken out and whipped.

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[–] paisleyterror 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

OMG when I was a teen I had a friend who used to roll a spoonful of Crisco in sugar and eat it. She was/is super skinny too. Gross!

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[–] comicsansmasterfont 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

I have to admit that when I make cookies I whip the butter and sugar together separately and take a little fingerful. It's totally awful but delicious. Not that I do it regularly :)

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[–] fattiesgonnaeat 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

My sister and I used to eat this on bread, however we were extremely poor and very underweight and sometimes that's all there was to eat in the house, your basic staples. I remember that it tasted pretty good though lol

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[–] bellylugosi 0 points 27 points (+27|-0) ago 

How is paper a second fucking treat? How is it even a treat at all? It's paper. Just because it holds something sweet doesn't make it any less...papery. Do these things also eat the pans brownies are baked in as a second treat?

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[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Paper is most certainly a "treat", if you have PICA. Although mayo is inedible to me as well, so what do I know?

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[–] Damndirtyape 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Sometimes if I have a password or something important written on a scrap of paper I'll swallow it. It makes me happy knowing if someone wants it they literally have to cut it out of me.

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[–] klongtoey 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

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[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

I'm willing to bet this habit started when it accidentally ate the paper/baking tray from eating too fast. This ham didn't die immediately so it figured why no, is my guess.

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[–] Angxrs 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Isn't it also waxed? Gross

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[–] Damndirtyape 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Idk much about the nutritional value of paper. I'm sure the fiber helps him shit out his mayo soup.

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[–] elgringodelamierda 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

Every time we come up with disgusting satire, they come up with something worse...

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