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[–] DietCokehead1 1 points 207 points (+208|-1) ago 

Congratulations, OP. I can already tell that this post will be one of those "Classic" FPH posts that Shitlords and Shitladies will be referring to months and years from now.

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[–] Thinspiration 0 points 168 points (+168|-0) ago 

Get mamma's fuckin stick.

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[–] farking_bastage 0 points 34 points (+34|-0) ago 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

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[–] RabbiShekelstein 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

Now in addition to "I wash myself with a rag on a stick" we have "I fuck my wife as my mom holds her fupa back with a stick".

It occurs to me it's weird that they hate "anorexic sticks" so much, sticks seem to be the only reason they accomplish anything.

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[–] prisonersandpriests 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

You know, when I pictured a woman saying that phrase I didn't think she was talking about a broom.

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[–] Jessee 0 points 32 points (+32|-0) ago 

Definitely, I don't think it's even possible to top this one

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[–] The_Penis_Wizard 0 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago 

I could tell you about poopy butt.

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[–] ShitlordedByFacts 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Yeah, fuck it, I'm out for the night. I guess I won't be finishing this coffee either.

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[–] SimonJ57 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

There was one post where some guys friend had to use a towel, like a sling, to hold his whales leg(s?) so he could do the nasty.


There's the other story where a fucking fat whore is going into a hospital with stomach pains.
so it's already going to take 3-4 nurses to hold up the FUPA, and when they do, it's a disgusting smell. They need to use copious amounts of peppermint oil in facial masks to hide the smell. Now when they're able to over-come the smell, one of the nurses had to leave the room to call a doctor.
What they saw was practically a blackened mess just oozing from this ham.
It turned out to be a miscarriage. Someone was desperate enough to impregnate the ham, and thank fuck, nature averted a child in such a situation.
Some of us hope she died from sepsis from the event.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Podd 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

pepperidge farm does

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[–] Jessee 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Maybe, do you remember the one with the duct tape?

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[–] morbidly_teehees 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

it already is. This one has been around for a while, much like the duct tape on the walls to hold the buttcheeks apart.