I’ve worked in two different stores over several years now, one larger warehouse-type that saw a lot of lower income and food stamps, and now a swankier local neighborhood place that gets a lot of housewives and retirees. Over this time, I’ve learned a couple things that I just gotta get off my normal-sized chest:
- There is a direct and dramatic correlation between how people look and what food they’re buying. I am literally to the point where I can see a customer from some 20 feet away and without even seeing their cart, give stunningly accurate predictions about what they’re gonna buy. It’s become a bit of a game for me to test myself. And you guessed it, there is a direct correlation between fat people and certain foods. Trust me, it works like clockwork. I can nearly always see it coming a mile away. I promise, every kind of person, from which wines they’re getting to organic vs. regular veggies, each and every one of you is predictable.
- Tumblrina fatties claiming they eat clean, so many salads, so much chicken breast, much healthy, very 800 calorie starve? Bullshit. You can’t hide from your checkout girl. To build on the first point, I know what you’re gonna buy before you even get within smelling distance, and it ain’t our entire organic veggie selection. You are as predictable as your inevitable heart attack, and none of your delusional claims of healthy eating hold any merit. I know you think I’m just some minimum-wage loser, but I’m better at judging people than you think.
- On that note, lots of folks, especially ones as self-absorbed as fatties, think service personnel are invisible, that we don’t see you and what you buy, that we don’t recognize correlations. When I first started cashiering way back when, I lost 10 pounds in the first two months without even trying. You know why? Because I lost my appetite at some of the people and foods in my line. It wasn’t conscious decisions; but when you see certain things over and over again, with people who look like they’re oozing the last of their humanity out of their folds, you kind of just never want to touch them again.
- “Tee hee I’m having a big party this weekend, I don’t always eat like this but gotta celebrate tee hee!” why the fuck you lying why you always lying mmmmm oh my god stop fucKING LYING
- Literally nothing in my life has made me more health-conscious as working grocery. When you see these ridiculous correlations between physical appearance and cart contents time and time again, it becomes a visceral reaction to things. I never meant to judge people on their purchases; I started this work with really no strong feelings towards fat people. But now? Now I’ve had enough of their wads of wrinkled cash pulled out of grimy pockets. I’ve had enough of the way they consistently treat me worse than any of my other customers. I’ve had enough of their whining about how they couldn’t find whatever shitty processed frozen disaster they’re used to shoving down their gullets by the boxful. I understand fat people to an almost disgusting degree, because there’s no expectation in a grocery store; people come in wearing pajamas and buying all their most embarrassing vices. I see them at the points they’d never dare post on Instaham, with the foods they’ll swear they never eat.
- There is literally nothing quite so terrifying as an angry whale whose scootypuff battery has died in the middle of the center aisle. Pray for whichever cart boy has to find them a new one.
- If you get even the slightest hint that I'm judging you, trust me, I am. If you're in any way fat and you don't think I am, don't worry; I'm just good at hiding it.
Sorry for the length. Long time lurker, first time poster, but let’s just say today was a whale of a shift.
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[–] FatJavalina 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Thank you so much for writing all of that <3 that means a lot. And, yes, the paranoia and shame is terrible! I've always been terrified of someone knowing exactly what was up or, worse, commenting on it.
It makes sense people would only really know of they've experienced it personally...but man, I never stop worrying, haha.
I couldn't imagine working in a grocery store...I worked at an ice cream shop and holy shit. Employees got free ice cream, so after every shift, I just fell apart. I was so extremely all or nothing then. Working at a grocer...you've got to be really strong! I'm thrilled you didn't lose more than 10 lbs (healthy is one thing, but with symptoms, as you know, it's a whole other animal). I know what you mean by trigger, I was taught to call it that, too :) you're using it in a different context and not treating it like a vet's PTSD.
I'm sure I and a few others could co-write that post with you! Haha it's terrible, really. Fucking fats.
But you, too, chica. Stay strong, stay beautiful <3 thank you.
[–] ittybittybitchy [S] 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Oh gosh, I get what you mean with the ice cream shop. I was solidly in recovery, and then I started working in a bakery. I had to quit after three months because I'd completely spiraled into literally the worst binge/purge cycle I've ever been in (which then lasted for another nine months) and it was only about a year after I'd quit that I was back to where I'd been BEFORE I started at the bakery. Oh fuck, it was awful. I'm so glad you're out of that kind of place, I'd never wish that on anyone with ED tendencies.
Now I actually want to lay out all my feelings about fat people and the way they've affected and reacted to my EDs. They're a special kind of awful about it sometimes.
<3 You're a babe.
[–] FatJavalina ago
I'm so happy you're out of the bakery, too. And doing worlds better! I'll keep my eye out for that post if you decide to write it (and haven't already). Fats are the worst when it comes to EDs...pretty much always.
Thank you :) you're an absolute sweetheart 😄