I’ve worked in two different stores over several years now, one larger warehouse-type that saw a lot of lower income and food stamps, and now a swankier local neighborhood place that gets a lot of housewives and retirees. Over this time, I’ve learned a couple things that I just gotta get off my normal-sized chest:
- There is a direct and dramatic correlation between how people look and what food they’re buying. I am literally to the point where I can see a customer from some 20 feet away and without even seeing their cart, give stunningly accurate predictions about what they’re gonna buy. It’s become a bit of a game for me to test myself. And you guessed it, there is a direct correlation between fat people and certain foods. Trust me, it works like clockwork. I can nearly always see it coming a mile away. I promise, every kind of person, from which wines they’re getting to organic vs. regular veggies, each and every one of you is predictable.
- Tumblrina fatties claiming they eat clean, so many salads, so much chicken breast, much healthy, very 800 calorie starve? Bullshit. You can’t hide from your checkout girl. To build on the first point, I know what you’re gonna buy before you even get within smelling distance, and it ain’t our entire organic veggie selection. You are as predictable as your inevitable heart attack, and none of your delusional claims of healthy eating hold any merit. I know you think I’m just some minimum-wage loser, but I’m better at judging people than you think.
- On that note, lots of folks, especially ones as self-absorbed as fatties, think service personnel are invisible, that we don’t see you and what you buy, that we don’t recognize correlations. When I first started cashiering way back when, I lost 10 pounds in the first two months without even trying. You know why? Because I lost my appetite at some of the people and foods in my line. It wasn’t conscious decisions; but when you see certain things over and over again, with people who look like they’re oozing the last of their humanity out of their folds, you kind of just never want to touch them again.
- “Tee hee I’m having a big party this weekend, I don’t always eat like this but gotta celebrate tee hee!” why the fuck you lying why you always lying mmmmm oh my god stop fucKING LYING
- Literally nothing in my life has made me more health-conscious as working grocery. When you see these ridiculous correlations between physical appearance and cart contents time and time again, it becomes a visceral reaction to things. I never meant to judge people on their purchases; I started this work with really no strong feelings towards fat people. But now? Now I’ve had enough of their wads of wrinkled cash pulled out of grimy pockets. I’ve had enough of the way they consistently treat me worse than any of my other customers. I’ve had enough of their whining about how they couldn’t find whatever shitty processed frozen disaster they’re used to shoving down their gullets by the boxful. I understand fat people to an almost disgusting degree, because there’s no expectation in a grocery store; people come in wearing pajamas and buying all their most embarrassing vices. I see them at the points they’d never dare post on Instaham, with the foods they’ll swear they never eat.
- There is literally nothing quite so terrifying as an angry whale whose scootypuff battery has died in the middle of the center aisle. Pray for whichever cart boy has to find them a new one.
- If you get even the slightest hint that I'm judging you, trust me, I am. If you're in any way fat and you don't think I am, don't worry; I'm just good at hiding it.
Sorry for the length. Long time lurker, first time poster, but let’s just say today was a whale of a shift.
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[–] FatJavalina 0 points 19 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago
When I was worse with bulimia, I always wondered what the cashiers thought of a healthy looking chick buying about $100 of pure crap. I was terrified they knew (maybe you guys do). Especially during particularly bad weeks where I'd be in several times (I got to the point where I'd cycle my grocery stores and hours shopping so I didn't run into the same people during their shifts).
Yeah, I was pathetic, but that isn't the point. Do you guys know?
[–] RedditRunaway 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
Most likely, but we don't really judge or care overly much. If you weren't rude, smelly, or overly huge I didn't judge. But hey, I have to pay attention to what I scan so heavy items don't destroy lighter items down the belt. I know what's up if you use the same store each week. It's okay though, after all the shit we see, it probably doesn't get a second thought.
^ I was a cashier and door greeter for years. I saw you come and go. Don't steal, either, I see that too (maybe lol).
[–] FatJavalina 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
Well it's a huge relief there generally wouldn't be judgement! Like I said, I cycled my hours and stores to try and not be noticed...doubt that helped much, though, lol.
Thank you, though. As silly as it sounds, I was more afraid of that than I was of all the health hazards I put myself through (disordered minds willfully ignore logic though we don't deny it), so thank you for clearing it up!
[–] ittybittybitchy [S] 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago (edited ago)
It's actually really funny and touching to me that you mention this, because I'm (supposedly, mostly) recovered from multiple EDs myself. I've been there too. I don't think most cashiers notice, but as someone who's been in the same awful cycle, yeah, I can personally tell. Don't ever beat yourself over it, because anyone who can tell probably only recognizes because they've done it themselves. I've never bought food for a binge at a store I worked at; I've always gone to another one because I was scared my coworkers would see it, like I knew they were too dumb to get it but god, that paranoia and shame is strong.
The first few months of working were kind of hard because the amount of food was so overwhelming and the people so gross that I found myself wanting to restrict worse than I had in years; honestly, it's a miracle I only lost 10 pounds. I hate tossing around the word "trigger," but I would say that the environment triggered a lot of compulsions I thought I'd overcome. I could write a whole post on the way fat people make my ED worse, though; I won't get into it.
There's so much in attitude, too; fatties march in like they're owed the food in this store. It's kind of like food stamps: some ladies march in like the generational welfare queens they are, buying whatever the fuck they want regardless of health. Others are ashamed, worried they're being judged, and the thing is that type of EBT user I NEVER judge. We do notice people's attitudes, because we'd get bored as hell otherwise, and if you're not waltzing in like you're the fucking queen of the HoHo's and Dryers, I got no problem. I respect people who recognize and see their challenges; it's the entitled brats who think they're the shit that I've got no time for.
Stay beautiful and strong, loves. <3
[–] FatJavalina 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
Thank you so much for writing all of that <3 that means a lot. And, yes, the paranoia and shame is terrible! I've always been terrified of someone knowing exactly what was up or, worse, commenting on it.
It makes sense people would only really know of they've experienced it personally...but man, I never stop worrying, haha.
I couldn't imagine working in a grocery store...I worked at an ice cream shop and holy shit. Employees got free ice cream, so after every shift, I just fell apart. I was so extremely all or nothing then. Working at a grocer...you've got to be really strong! I'm thrilled you didn't lose more than 10 lbs (healthy is one thing, but with symptoms, as you know, it's a whole other animal). I know what you mean by trigger, I was taught to call it that, too :) you're using it in a different context and not treating it like a vet's PTSD.
I'm sure I and a few others could co-write that post with you! Haha it's terrible, really. Fucking fats.
But you, too, chica. Stay strong, stay beautiful <3 thank you.
[–] Corruption22 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Yeah but that's an actual eating disorder so only fat cashiers would be bitchy about it but you can get them fired for shit behaviour.
I had a lovely woman who is obviously having problems with food. She's always so nice, especially compared to the cunt hammy fucks.
[–] FatJavalina 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I go out of my way to avoid fat cashiers to this day, haha.
I'm sorry that woman is struggling...but I'm happy you're kind and understanding. It's the little things that mean the world, and having essentially a stranger being considerate of something like that is wonderful. I'm glad she's kind, too!
[–] fabulousalpaca 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I've had the same fears.. Like, they must know. Or maybe they think I have a giant family and Im the only one who can buy stuff? Yeah, that must be it.
[–] FatJavalina 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Hahaha love the giant family excuse! I always went with the, "I hope they think I'm having a party!" Yeah...a party serving cereal, ramen, a pie, bread, and whatever else. Great hostess skills right there, lol