I’ve worked in two different stores over several years now, one larger warehouse-type that saw a lot of lower income and food stamps, and now a swankier local neighborhood place that gets a lot of housewives and retirees. Over this time, I’ve learned a couple things that I just gotta get off my normal-sized chest:
- There is a direct and dramatic correlation between how people look and what food they’re buying. I am literally to the point where I can see a customer from some 20 feet away and without even seeing their cart, give stunningly accurate predictions about what they’re gonna buy. It’s become a bit of a game for me to test myself. And you guessed it, there is a direct correlation between fat people and certain foods. Trust me, it works like clockwork. I can nearly always see it coming a mile away. I promise, every kind of person, from which wines they’re getting to organic vs. regular veggies, each and every one of you is predictable.
- Tumblrina fatties claiming they eat clean, so many salads, so much chicken breast, much healthy, very 800 calorie starve? Bullshit. You can’t hide from your checkout girl. To build on the first point, I know what you’re gonna buy before you even get within smelling distance, and it ain’t our entire organic veggie selection. You are as predictable as your inevitable heart attack, and none of your delusional claims of healthy eating hold any merit. I know you think I’m just some minimum-wage loser, but I’m better at judging people than you think.
- On that note, lots of folks, especially ones as self-absorbed as fatties, think service personnel are invisible, that we don’t see you and what you buy, that we don’t recognize correlations. When I first started cashiering way back when, I lost 10 pounds in the first two months without even trying. You know why? Because I lost my appetite at some of the people and foods in my line. It wasn’t conscious decisions; but when you see certain things over and over again, with people who look like they’re oozing the last of their humanity out of their folds, you kind of just never want to touch them again.
- “Tee hee I’m having a big party this weekend, I don’t always eat like this but gotta celebrate tee hee!” why the fuck you lying why you always lying mmmmm oh my god stop fucKING LYING
- Literally nothing in my life has made me more health-conscious as working grocery. When you see these ridiculous correlations between physical appearance and cart contents time and time again, it becomes a visceral reaction to things. I never meant to judge people on their purchases; I started this work with really no strong feelings towards fat people. But now? Now I’ve had enough of their wads of wrinkled cash pulled out of grimy pockets. I’ve had enough of the way they consistently treat me worse than any of my other customers. I’ve had enough of their whining about how they couldn’t find whatever shitty processed frozen disaster they’re used to shoving down their gullets by the boxful. I understand fat people to an almost disgusting degree, because there’s no expectation in a grocery store; people come in wearing pajamas and buying all their most embarrassing vices. I see them at the points they’d never dare post on Instaham, with the foods they’ll swear they never eat.
- There is literally nothing quite so terrifying as an angry whale whose scootypuff battery has died in the middle of the center aisle. Pray for whichever cart boy has to find them a new one.
- If you get even the slightest hint that I'm judging you, trust me, I am. If you're in any way fat and you don't think I am, don't worry; I'm just good at hiding it.
Sorry for the length. Long time lurker, first time poster, but let’s just say today was a whale of a shift.
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[–] WhaleWails 0 points 36 points 36 points (+36|-0) ago (edited ago)
I worked at a grocery store for several years. Want to make your job easier? Transfer to produce. Most people don't bother with fruits or veggies, and those who do usually get them from the frozen section.
If anyone asks you a question there's a 95% chance they're a mystery shopper.
[–] DessertFox 0 points 19 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago
If they ask where the raspberries are, or why the strawberries are not fresh, its me.
Seriously, one of my local stores will sell strawberries after they start going bad. They last like 2 days, tops. And the raspberries; good luck, those overpriced bits of delicious ruby are worth all the pain I put myself through.
[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 14 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago
I prefer blueberries, although they do have a strong effect,on the color of my poop. Seriously. If you want green poo, eat a few handfuls of fresh blueberries. If you want black poo, eat a lot of them. Might come in handy if you ever want to convince someone you have internal bleeding...
[–] [deleted] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
[–] SkinnyMcShitlord 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
Mmmmm, raspberries!! I'm fed by a tube to bypass my broken stomach and can't eat without vomiting but I fucking love raspberries and give zero fucks that I throw them up a few hours later (hell, I get to taste them twice! It's a bonus really.)
I got so sick of paying the ridiculous prices for a tiny punnet at the supermarket that I eventually made my husband plant 5 canes of our own. Best decision ever!!
(Although we quickly learned to keep super fine mesh over them to keep the fucking wasps and birds from destroying them!)
They're even more amazing when home-grown. I thought I loved them before but I'm basically an addict now we grow our own!
I make an amazing raspberry coulis and cream cheese frosted cake too, it's the perfect mix of rich, creamy, slightly sweet and tart. Especially when you drizzle extra coulis over each slice just before eating it *drools*.
My husband has been a type 1 diabetic since he was a little kid and can't stand anything super sweet, especially cakes. When I came up with the coulis cake for his birthday last year it was the first time I ever saw him go back for a second slice. I was pretty pleased with myself!!
It's truly heavenly though. Fresh, homemade raspberry coulis is to die for!!
[–] poodog 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
I planted a bunch of berry bushes out back... aside from the constant bee harassment, I am drowning in that shit.
I highly recommend it.
Strawberries however are actual work, and take 2 years or so to pay out properly.
[–] MrEvilPirate 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Can confirm. Worked produce for a couple years. Soooo much better than front end. Go in the back, chop some shit up. Stock fruits and veggies. No one bothers you. Plenty of eye bleach around as well just in case.