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[–] Dumptruck 0 points 59 points (+59|-0) ago 

I would have loved to been in that office during the incident that caused the signs creation.

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[–] wikibebiased 0 points 33 points (+33|-0) ago 

I worked at one particular skydiving operation where the owner went ballistic on a family of hams who were all too fat and mom was in scooter but wanted to jump. Two days later there were professional signs everywhere stating the weight limit of 230 and a giant 200 inch sign at entrance. It still makes me laugh.

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[–] dontdoxxmebro 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

I guessing that the FAA was, just another incidence of fats wasting government time and resources.

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[–] Swole_is_life 0 points 31 points (+31|-0) ago 

Physics is the ultimate shitlord. I should do see if I can find the calculations I did back on our old boards about physics and fatties. Things like you need to be going 95% of the speed of light in order for length contraction to make Tess Munster look normal.

One kinda fun thing you can do with the really stupid (so all) fatties is tell them they are very attractive, gravitationally speaking. They'll be pretty sure they were insulted but not sure quite why.

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[–] Plant_Boy 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

"I see that you are just a Ball of Energy..."

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[–] ForgotMyName 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

If they're nerds, tell them the Force is strong with them, where F = ma.

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[–] fattyatemysympathy 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Problem with that is the acceleration part. Hams aren't doing much of that unless their scooty puff does it for them.

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[–] neit 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

>As you begin to accelerate to nearly the speed of light, you begin to wonder what landed you in this particular situation. Perhaps you drank one too many energy drinks or ripped the tag off of a mattress. It didn't matter though, you thought, since you would have to slam into a celestial body at some point. Your life flashes before your eyes as you realize that maybe you're dead; "Was I a good person? Did I do enough in my short lifetime?" As you approach 95% lightspeed, the cosmos begin to whirl by you in a rainbow of colors, both beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Suddenly, a bright light appears in front of you. The light begins to take on color and a murky shape as you continue to blaze across the universe. The light coalesces into the outline of a voluptuous woman. As her red hair, bright red lipstick and satin bra become visible, you think to yourself, "I must be going to heaven after all, this woman is there to greet me!" You smile and wave at the woman but she doesn't manage to respond. Your joy slowly turns into suspicion as the image of the woman begins to contort. Fear overtakes you as you begin to realize what is happening. What you thought was the image of a beautiful woman was in fact a giant, celestial size fattass in XXXL^80 lingerie. As her face and rolls begin to fill out, you noticed that the beastly woman had several planets orbiting her, making her roughly the size of a solar system. Terrified, you begin to flail about, writhing and screaming for help, but none came. You begin to pray; whispering any incantation you remember from any relegion you can recall but no deity comes to your aid. You come to the conclusion that this isn't your journey to heaven, but in fact your own personal hell. You were sure that you had died while driving drunk or you had choked on a wing bone while having an eatoff with your friends. You come to peace with yourself, however, and accept what is about to happen to you. As the giant figure comes ever closer you close your eyes one last time. You feel nothing when it happens. There's heat, then light, then a flurry of adipose and diabetes and at last, silence.

>You hear the sounds of birds chirping as you groggily open your eyes. The breathtaking view shocks your weary mind. Beautiful green hills rolling gently into a coast with a calm ocean and forests dotting the landscapes. A small sidewalk runs towards the ocean and a small town of gyms, surfshops and locally owned eateries. You see fit people everywhere; jogging, climbing trees, playing with equally fit dogs, painting, building and all manner of outdoor activities. "Welcome to heaven, brah." You turn around and a tear comes to your eye. It's Zyzz. "You made it."

>End

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[–] Albedo 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Physics is the ultimate shitlord.

I'd say biology.

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[–] GrammarStalinist 0 points 29 points (+29|-0) ago 

Reality has a well-known bias against fat people.

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[–] Syphrosyne 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

BUT MUH CONDISHUNS

Doesn't matter how much logic you use, fatties always assume that if anything doesn't go their way, they're being discriminated against. Even if the issue has nothing to do with weight. For example: fatties think having to wait in line like everyone else and being told they can't skip ahead to the front is "discrimination".

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[–] Jessee 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

It's not exactly discrimination if you inconvenience yourself by becoming a hambeast and then expect people to accommodate for you, I will 100% always accommodate to disabled people but fat people? Fuck. No.

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[–] EarlPoncho 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

the fact that this needs to be said is depressing

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[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

God bless the ham triggering shitlord who wrote that.

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[–] troponinnutrition 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Yeah, Newtonian physics. AKA the WHITE MAN's physics.

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[–] Laughingllama 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Either one fatty or three normals people.

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[–] krck 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

One fatty, shitlord???!!!! 420 is barely small fat! Anyone being allowed to fly there should check xer privillege!!!

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