[–] [deleted] 0 points 33 points (+33|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

0
23

[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

Has anyone ever believed the "I was too busy having sex with my wife" lie?

I've never even heard that excuse before. It sounds like something a 12 year old trapped in the body of a grown man might say.

0
7

[–] speshul_snowflake 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Anyone saying they are having sex with their wife is either having their birthday or is lying... /jk :p

0
6

[–] Harry_Areola 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

It's pretty much, "I was too busy doing your mom."

0
1

[–] Raylan 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Or at the very least someone to whom having sex is some exceptional occurrence worthy of mention any chance they get it. "Wow, you had sex." They lack the empathy to realize to the rest of us sex is not that novel, life-altering experience anymore.

0
13

[–] StupidShitlords 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

I doubt the dudes had sex like, ever.

0
5

[–] farmer- 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I like to imagine that he thinks he has, but really this entire time he's been only fucking the fat folds of his behemoth wife. no penetration took place

0
4

[–] leonvmetcalf 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

But he did...

...with his hand

0
0

[–] ctrlcutpaste 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

I wonder if he knows that smashing their bellies together to get their genitals to touch is not exactly sex

0
1

[–] LegendarySock 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

I imagine it could've taken him all day considering he had to take a break every 5 minutes to catch his breath

0
0

[–] lxaex1143 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Sex takes anywhere from 5 minutes (a quickie) to 40 minutes (the romantic type) on average. I usually need a about 20 minutes after before I'm at full energy again. So, unless this guy's day consisted of a total of 1 hour, I don't think sex is an excuse.

1
15

[–] stupidlikeafox 1 points 15 points (+16|-1) ago 

Lol lying sack of shit, bet he didnt even have sex. Bet he doesnt even have a wife. Bet he didnt even masturbate cause he cant find his penis.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

0
21

[–] BOTZach 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

WHY DO I CLICK EVERY LINK I SEEEEEE

0
2

[–] Mr_Wolf 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I was going to comment about that, can't have sex if the folds exceed the length.

0
1

[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

It took me a while to figure out what I was looking at. How is that even a thing?

0
7

[–] getfitroxana [S] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

0
9

[–] ObeseRedditAdmin 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

I completely believe he can bench 430.

He does it every time he stands up.

0
3

[–] Nyte 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Rolling out of bed does not equal that.

0
2

[–] Mr_Wolf 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Sounds like he's relying on the tortoise and hare story for his 24 hour race, when you're not looking he's going to take a cab.

0
4

[–] didntsayeeeee 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

The twist: his wife weighs 430 lb and likes to be on top.

0
4

[–] CyclopticTentacleCat 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

You're one of my favorites.

0
3

[–] getfitroxana [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Thanks! I'll try to keep bringing rad stuff your way!

0
3

[–] opinionatedduck 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Take a vid of yourself bench pressing a lower weight than his complete lie and show it to him. :D hide your face if you have to. I expect to see a jealousy-filled reply to it if ever

0
2

[–] Corruption22 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

He spent all day crying and masturbating between feeds.

0
2

[–] machina70 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

He thought walking was impressive. He probably lifted a little in high school and has forgotten what it feels like. He has NO idea of how difficult 430 actually is. 315 is the guy who just benches regularly and pushes himself. 400 takes dedication, everything past that is dedication, diet, and a good training plan.

Fucktard oreobeast doesn't even lift.

load more comments ▼ (7 remaining)