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[–] GregorSamsa 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

Marine veteran here. We'd call them fatbodies. We were a creative lot. Or ArmyStrong cause military fatties were often army. BCP or body composition platoon people.

Dependapotamus was the term for spouse of a military member. Typically fat entitled lazy fucks. Often they'd say things like "do you know who my husband is?" Or " you have to salute me as well I am a colonels wife". They are basically useless fat baby factories. They don't work and just shit out babies and eat fast food and hang out at the PX either trying to fuck fit younger Marines, police Marines, or just spend all their husbands income. Often they'll go to the gym sweat on everything while sone how not doing any real work


[–] mrduck 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Terminal Lance has done several series on these. His descriptions in the comments seem pretty spot on:

"This creature of lore is actually quite common within the Marine Corps. Mostly found in the darkest corners of base housing, Dependapotamus may look like a predator of some kind, but it is actually defined as a parasite. Much like a tick or leach, the creature will engorge itself into gluttony through the benefits and steady paychecks offered by the unsuspecting Marine."


[–] GregorSamsa ago  (edited ago)

I love the fuck out of TL and have fond memories of that shit while I was in. My battalion banned the TL hand symbol in 2010ish cause they said it was turning into almost a gang thing lol.

But yeah TL fucking nails Dependas and has great and comical depictions of them. I though about including them in my post but was too lazy to sift through them to find and post them.


[–] tipsyoctopus 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Dependapotamuses really need to be on this list.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 



[–] GregorSamsa ago 

Lol one time in Oki we were evacuated to high ground due to Tsunami warning for like 8 hours (may have been the Fukashima incident or another time, too much booze to differentiate). But it was getting dark and me and a few buddies (lances at the time (E3)) were walking to the PX to get food and more booze. In the distance we saw this obeast planatoid orbiting a matchstick Marine (skin, bones and sinew, a twig made human) and we instantly started cracking up and loudly making fun of her size and obvious dependa status. They could clearly hear us and as we got closer we realized the poor soul having its benis sucked out was a Captain. So we all went into snickering shit eating grin salutes and hustled past. The poor officer didn't say shit about the comments we were making, he probably knew it was true and was praying we'd help extricate him from the obeast.

Lots more stories if you want link me to your post and I'll dump some. I was a Marksmanship coach for a few years and had to do a couple jane wane days (wifes come out and do marine things, shooting in my case) Fucking terrifying. Obeast dependas with fucking fire arms.