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[–] eltri35 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Whatwouldyoucall this. Sorry im not that good at naming.


[–] GregorSamsa 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago 

Marine veteran here. We'd call them fatbodies. We were a creative lot. Or ArmyStrong cause military fatties were often army. BCP or body composition platoon people.

Dependapotamus was the term for spouse of a military member. Typically fat entitled lazy fucks. Often they'd say things like "do you know who my husband is?" Or " you have to salute me as well I am a colonels wife". They are basically useless fat baby factories. They don't work and just shit out babies and eat fast food and hang out at the PX either trying to fuck fit younger Marines, police Marines, or just spend all their husbands income. Often they'll go to the gym sweat on everything while sone how not doing any real work


[–] mrduck 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Terminal Lance has done several series on these. His descriptions in the comments seem pretty spot on:

"This creature of lore is actually quite common within the Marine Corps. Mostly found in the darkest corners of base housing, Dependapotamus may look like a predator of some kind, but it is actually defined as a parasite. Much like a tick or leach, the creature will engorge itself into gluttony through the benefits and steady paychecks offered by the unsuspecting Marine."


[–] tipsyoctopus 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Dependapotamuses really need to be on this list.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 



[–] FattyHater [S] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

I'm not very familiar with military hams and therefore am not qualified to provide a description of them. Maybe someone else can step up to the plate on this one?


[–] tableflipper 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

Dependapotamus: Wife of military-enlisted husband who sits around on her fat ass all day and leeches off government funds.


[–] Bunraku 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Looks like a few shots of the Private Pyle. Not limited to the military, but inexplicably included in the ranks of other physically demanding professions such as police, firefighters and EMTs.

Either the result of a slipping standard of entry requirements or some kind of tenure, the Private Pyle uses its hefty bulk to crush its natural enemy, performance records.

Whether the Pyle is bringing up the rear in an early morning march, stopping patrol every fourteen minutes to buy donuts, or causing a firetruck to bank to the left, there is a silver lining to the life span of the Pyle; they are probably the comic relief, and definitely the first to die.


[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Fupa Trooper - Military and Police force fatties that can no longer see their own genitals. In any situation requiring even a modest level of physical fitness, these disgraceful lard buckets would utterly fail and are therefore a potential liability to their fellow troops/officers and the citizens they are meant to protect.


[–] RedditcansuckaFupa 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I'm not sure if this works, but paging leelem0n:


[–] leonvmetcalf 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I don't understand but why are these people even in the military in the first place?? I thought there were physical requirements that they had to pass.


[–] Mr_Wolf 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

They start off being able to pass all physical fitness requirements, they use deception and medical waivers to get around having to perform the required fitness tests, and when they do have to take them they barely pass the minimum requirements and go back to waivers and medical excuses to get their revaluation tests delayed.


[–] squataclops 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Females are war donkeys (or hippo) and the males are just shitbags