So I forgot to bring lunch to work today, and my office is in the middle of the boonies. Because of the location I was forced to either do without lunch, or go to the "coffee" shop in the lobby. Sadly, I decided to go to the shop (I was hungry ok), and ended up getting one of those sausage egg & cheese biscuit things.
The thing turned out to be rather nasty; it was almost pure beetus. I seriously could not stomach more than two bites. Disgusted, I started to throw the thing away. As I was turning around I saw one of the office sacks of suet talking to a cube neighbor. (One of those fatties who's fupa hangs under their T-shirt.) At the same time HE saw what I had, and you could see the horror in his eyes as he realizes what I intended to do.
He bellows (they never seem to have inside voices for some reason), "Are you gonna finish that?!" And before I can even react he snatches it from my hand, then proceeds to inhale it right there in the cube-hall. Then he eyes me as if expecting more, before shuffling off. My cube neighbor and I were simply at a loss for words afterwards.
I mean seriously, how fucking trashy can you get?
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[–] Mr_Hands 0 points 23 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago
I guess itd be more trashy if he took it out of the garbage
[–] Fatty_McGoo 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
"..adjacent to refuse is refuse."
[–] SeigneurdesEtrons 1 point 12 points 13 points (+13|-1) ago
Than grabbing fatty food out of a coworker's hand and gobbling it?
Off the cuff, you'd have to stoop to some sort of coprophiliac Port-A-Potty-diving to get close, but I'm a little squeamish to go into any real details.
[–] HP48GX 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I have no way of knowing whether I've met a coprophiliac yet (and boy, am I glad...) but I have a suspicion that such a person would hold no self-delusions that what he does is somehow... not disgusting. They probably know it (and that is why they hide it) but can't hold their urges: they need it... but they try to remain self-respecting by keeping their shit private.
Coprophiliacs are more worthy persons that fatsos.
[–] SeigneurdesEtrons 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Comparing literal shit-eaters to fats and making them shine in comparison?
...seriously, that's some top-decile shitlording there son. Well done.
[–] VegetarianZombie1 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
I'd let HR know about that. For all Lardo knew, you were just walking over TOWARDS the trash with no intention of actually THROWING IT AWAY. So it's pretty much like he stole food right out of your hands.
[–] j095 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Even though that's not what happened pretend it is.
[–] caddy 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
"And he thinks I'm underweight anyway so I'm being oppressed!"
Fucking turn the tables on their fat asses.
[–] didntsayeeeee 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
It's not that they have no shame, it's that they have permanent shame. When the mere fact of your existence is shameful, a little more doesn't hurt.
It's like if you were forced to march down the street painted pink carrying a "I'm a paedophile" sign. If you fart, it doesn't really make it any worse.
[–] DelusionalHominids 2 points 6 points 8 points (+8|-2) ago
It's genetic!
[–] RedhairedLemur 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
[–] daan ago
Fatties and cubicles? You need a better job.
[–] EarthquakesAreScary ago
That's pretty much "licking the bottom of the bleachers in hopes of getting a drop of beer" stage. It's amazing that people in that state aren't considered mentally ill.