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[–] Beetus-not-by-choice 0 points 83 points (+83|-0) ago 

Fellow baker here, I feel you... The amount of times I've been asked by fatties stuff like ''how much sugar is there in those eclairs?'', ''how many calories are in that chocolate mousse?'' or ''do you make a version of this cake with splenda'' of course fucking not that's not real french baking. Also, yes they are expensive, because care and attention goes into making each one, a lot of it by hand as well. but landwhales wouldn't know about making food from scratch with real ingredients now would they. I also love serving thin client for the same reason. You can just tell they really appreciate the effort and time involved.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] ShitArchon 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

Because they don't care about calories. They think "gummy bears are fat-free!"

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[–] dancemonkey 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Thin clients know that if you need to count the calories in it, you can't have a chocolate mousse. But they have one perfect pastry as a treat now and then, not a bag full of sugar, flour and fat every 4 hours.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 65 points (+65|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

[–] [deleted] 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] Brightness 0 points 27 points (+27|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Now I've only been professionally in the industry for 6 years, but I've been around it my whole life (literally a family business on both sides) and I will say it's a resounding yes. While oversized caskets/vaults/people needing to buy two cemetery plots was a big deal in the past, it's relatively common place now. We have people calling asking about sizes of vaults and plots more often to see if they can sneak a fatty in something standard sized. Even in the past six years, the amount of 30-50 year old deaths has increased. You get someone's dates, and I used to think it was a shame at how young they were, now I get that age group pretty often. It could be easily prevented.

Edit: Also, grave sizes have increased over the past 100 years. Now a lot of it has to do with people using concrete vaults, but a lot of older cemeteries have 32-36" wide plots, standard is now 40-42"

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[–] DoctorShitlord_MD 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I feel you homie. We tried.

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[–] byebyethrow001 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Are there innovations coming with your booming industry?

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[–] Brightness 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

As in to cater to fat people, or in general?

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[–] dancemonkey 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Is it true about crematoria not being able to take the super fats because essentially they would start a massive grease fire that would burn too hot?

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[–] Brightness 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

From what I've been told by directors, it's absolutely true. Most of them won't take fat people.

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[–] bloopton 1 points 60 points (+61|-1) ago 

ITT: Everyone on Voat is a fucking baker

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[–] BigBonesDontJiggle 0 points 32 points (+32|-0) ago 

Need more butchers and candlestick makers

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[–] Angusvigerous 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

You don't know how much I hate you right now.

That was so good, giggled for a good five minutes. 👍👍

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[–] throwaway_thatburger 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

If they're on FPH it's likely that they'll all fit in a tub too

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[–] korkyshadow 0 points 53 points (+53|-0) ago 

Hey i'm a baker! Oh god the jokes are the worst. Having hot french bread and having to hear "Ill need two because I won't be able to resist eating one on the way home!" is nauseating. "Idk how you don't eat everything it smells so good!" self control try it. Also every person who has ever complained about a cake has been 300+ pounds. Like fuck if you didn't want every single thing on the cake (so it has more frosting) it wouldn't have looked like shit.

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[–] DoctorShitlord_MD 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago 

Bars get fined or sued if they keep serving anyone visibly intoxicated.

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[–] Tozetre 1 points 23 points (+24|-1) ago 

hot french bread

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG

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[–] Frums 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

What the fuck. And with no shame in their voice.

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[–] byebyethrow001 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Hahahaha! "I'll have a loaf of French bread for my family annnnnnd... one for the drive home!"

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[–] AthleticSharts 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago  (edited ago)

That one gave me pause as well. It would make me phisically ill to even try to force myself to eat even half of a loaf. It's a loaf of fucking bread...

But I get a lot of that from people "how are you so skinny when you eat whatever you want?" Two things, hard manual labor (I love it) and portion control...and not even "portion control" in it's truest sense...I just go by "if you're not hungry any longer STOP FUCKING EATING."

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[–] hypercat 0 points 44 points (+44|-0) ago 

Oh man. I worked at a Swiss/German bakery many years ago and people would complain about how small the cake slices were. DUDE they were 2 dollars. Manyother places had slices for 3,4,5 dollars.

Another one that bothered me was "why are the croissants so small?" HAVE YOU TRIED ONE? IT IS THE CRISPY BREAD OF THE GODS not that bullshit bread crap they pretend is a croissant at costco.

There is a reason that candied orange peels are 33 dollars a pound, and hand made chocolates are 25. THEY ARE HARD TO MAKE and fucking delicious, using the tastiest of imported chocolate.

Things I miss, that half wheat/white bread with the thick thick dark crust with the light and almost sourdough like inside, the croissants (I could eat 100 of those things), the rum balls, the chocolate sachertort, real buttercream frosting, I could go on, but mostly the bread. And this is why I don't eat sweets. I have so far found nothing that compares to the quality, flavor, and love that were put into those sweets so long ago. I did however find very similar bread in a french place in Oregon.

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[–] poodog 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I fucking hate large croissants. When I see a giant Croissant I just assume it's shit and I don't want it.

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[–] hypercat 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Usually they are. I dream about going to France one day and getting the perfect one for breakfast with my coffee everyday.

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[–] CyclopticTentacleCat [S] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Hams will just never understand the joy of indulging in amazing desserts and pastries after eating healthy, I swear the flavors are magnified x100. I guess that's what happens when your body doesn't get accustomed to the shitty versions of these in dump truck quantities. Thin privilege-actually tasting our food.

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[–] hypercat 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

OMG, I just went to a Oaxacan place yesterday. We had a delicious tapas meal (tuna tartar taco, OMGGGG) and the fat as fuck waitress was like "desert?" and our whole table was like, NOPE. The food was small portions but so rich and delicious we had no need for desert. Oh, dude, there was smoked pumpkin salsa. It was retarded good.

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[–] KingMortales 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Shit lord here, but I'll be damned if food porn isn't still awesome. Maybe even better since I'm not constantly eating so the treats are actually special.

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[–] hypercat 0 points 0 points (+0|-0) ago 

That is how it should be. Sweets are a TREAT. Like Halloween. Once a year you get candy. Now it is all day everyday you get candy. American candy isn't even any good.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] l23r 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Chocolate covered orange peels

When I read this I was like "What? You dip the peel in chocolate and eat it or something?" Then I saw this. I'm totally going to try that sometime, but I've had my eye on making this (but without the poison, err I mean nuts)

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[–] Mugen 0 points 26 points (+26|-0) ago 

Not a baker but head chef/manager of two sushi & seafood restaurants, usually lards don't come here (for obvious reasons), but the ones that do usually complains about the price. Often asking how many pieces you need to get full (as if i know how much they can fill in their disgusting bodies?), and they always want me to "destroy" my food with a load of chilimayo, usually the only greens they can consider to eat is avocado, shit is fucking disgusting.

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[–] maxk42 1 points 22 points (+23|-1) ago 

Fuck that chilimayo shit. Some sushi joints I go into, I can't get anything without one of the following disgusting non-sushi ingredients: mayonnaise, spicy tuna (read: blended with mayonnaise), fried rice, cream cheese or soy paper.

Look, it's okay: If you don't like sushi, don't fucking order it.

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[–] Howtokillagod 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Spicy tuna blended w/mayonnaise, dafuq? Fried rice in the sushi? How does it even stay together?

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[–] ShitlordingItUp 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Jeez, I know. We have 2 sushi restaurants in my town and both don't serve real sushi, but mostly the rolls that are drenched in mayo and about half are deep fried or have deep friend ingredients. My favorite one went out of business and I seriously miss getting a good sashimi dinner.

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[–] mmmmdonuts 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

My obese friend gets a huge side of spicy mayo to dip her sushi in. That already has mayo in it.

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[–] mmmmdonuts 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

You just described the only types of sushi I don't eat.

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[–] RoboWarrior 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

What is chilimayo? I've never heard of sushi served with something like that (it might be under a different name but never used anything like that before only wasabi and soy sauce). I had to recently stop going to my sushi place since my dad found out that the were putting mayo on the rice to 'fill up'. That pissed my dad lol.

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[–] RielDtok_ 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

It's the spicy mayo that they add to tuna to make "spicy tuna." I don't mind it and I'll sometimes get a roll that includes it, but it is not a traditional sushi ingredient and definitely not the healthiest choice on the menu.

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[–] misosoup321 1 points -1 points (+0|-1) ago 

In Vancouver, we have a lot of Korean run sushi joints. They use a Korean hot sauce & Japanese mayo (zig zagged over a plate, or on the side).

I don't think I've ever had the kind @RielDtok_'s taking about though. Our spicy tuna just has the Korean/Japanese hot sauce. (It's yummy).

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[–] CyclopticTentacleCat [S] 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I love going for sushi! I don't think I have ever seen a ham at a sushi place aside from the all-you-can-eat nights. Big shocker.

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[–] thenthingsgotworse 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

They're having a huge influence on sushi places the world over. I can sortof understand though, because what restaurant wants to reject a big group of potential customers by arbitrarily limiting their menu?

I can sortof understand, but not really forgive. So few places are still on point with their sushi...

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[–] blackguard19 0 points 22 points (+22|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I work at a hospital so..... Yes it attracts many fat people. :)

I actually work in radiology so I get to cram rotundies into a 70 cm diameter MRI machine.

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[–] poodog 0 points 27 points (+27|-0) ago 

So I guess you could say you work with a legit fat magnet?

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[–] CyclopticTentacleCat [S] 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Have you ever had one that didn't fit!? I've never had an MRI so it is hard to fathom how large the space is but man would that give me a ladyboner if I could tell one they're too fat for an MRI.

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[–] blackguard19 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago 

Oh yeah, I did one the other day who really couldn't fit and he still did it anyway. Had to push the table in by hand. Must have felt like a spelunker in a collapsed tunnel. I'm actually pleased with him. Most of the time the ones who are over the weight limit aren't sent there in the first place. And when someone is really too big, most of the time they are too claustrophobic anyway so we can blame it on that and not that they're overweight. There are rumors of people having been sent to Sea World or the zoo or whatever to use the imaging equipment built for large animals but I think that's radiology urban myth.

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[–] misopwnia 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You know you're fat when the excitatory radio wavelength matches your fat abdomen: http://radiopaedia.org/articles/dielectric-effect-artifact-2

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[–] blackguard19 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Saved, going to read at work Monday. Haha

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[–] Fireark 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

I remember, many moons ago, my first MRI appointment (for back problems) got canceled because the fat sack of suet that had to use it before me broke the retractable table thing. Damn appointment was at like 2am, and it took weeks to reschedule.

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[–] CyclopticTentacleCat [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

There is a huge wait for them everywhere it seems, now it is becoming clear as to why...ugh.

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[–] ButtarGollum 1 points 20 points (+21|-1) ago 

I used to work in a bakery as a teenager. I have an appreciation for fine baked goods and treat them as a lovely and rare delight. Nothing pissed me off more than hearing fat fucks complain that a loaf of break from a small town bakery cost $1.25 more than a loaf of Wonderbread squeezed from the asshole of a factory. It was insulting to the owner (also head baker) who spent an average of 14-17 hours a fucking day making sure her little operation was perfect. Or to hear them complain that the delightful butter tarts weren't the size of fucking dinner plates.... I hate fat people.

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[–] Machine-Head 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

They have never ever put that much effort into making any sort of food so they are incapable of appreciating it. Sad really.

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[–] thenthingsgotworse 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

The flipside is also true.

I can make very, very nice things. That means a lot of what you can generally buy at a supermarket is not good enough for me.

If I want something good, I have to go to a fancy place which specializes in it (best), or I make it myself (very good).

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[–] assholepuke 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

Yes, some bread is much better than Wonder Bread, etc. However, the taste/quality is what is important. Not how many hours some dude works. For example, fish caught by giant fishing vessels/floating factories taste just as good (or better) than fish caught individually by local fisherman in his little boat. I hate it when people equate time spent...with quality.

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