Posted by: Alephant
Posting time: 5.3 years ago on
Last edit time: never edited.
Archived on: 2/12/2017 1:51:00 AM
Views: 679
SCP: 2
9 upvotes, 7 downvotes (56% upvoted it)
~31 user(s) here now
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[–] sanataseva 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago (edited ago)
Ehh, there's nothing in the wallet because fatty doesn't work and spends all its disability/fatty stipend on Mountain Dew, potato chips and Double Stuf Oreos. There's really only the one key, and it opens a dank, smelly apartment that is only theirs because the landlord can't get in through the wall of pizza boxes, broken medical equipment and waste products. The phone is a flip from the early 2000s that it can't find because it has embedded in its skin. It hasn't been replaced because fatty doesn't need a phone, no one wants to talk to it anyway.
So don't be jealous, there is nothing in an obese worth protecting.