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[–] lava 0 points 73 points (+73|-0) ago 

Things you failed to account for, Shitlord:

  • Condishuns
  • Junetiks
  • Starvation mode
  • 100lbs of "water weight"

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[–] la_fupacabra 0 points 33 points (+33|-0) ago 

Actually people should be measured as lbs and GALLONS shitlord. Check your low-gallon privilege

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[–] lava 0 points 30 points (+30|-0) ago 

Lmfao that last part. I'll have to ask my doctor why he keeps dressing up as an Asian woman the next time I see him.

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[–] woeisme 0 points 23 points (+23|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I identify as an aloe vera.

Oh my!

[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] DelusionalHominids 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

There's no fucking way this bitch actually thinks she's carrying 256 pounds of water weight.

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[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

water

So that's how the fatties spell mayo!

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[–] swingsandroundabouts 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

You forgot hormones!

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[–] Schmickle 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Don't forget "big boned"