My youngest sister is a hamplant, 300lbs of buttery fattitude stuffed into a 5'4'' couch potato. I am 140lbs, 5'8'' and relatively active (work out a few times a week, like to hike etc- I'm not swole or anything but definitely fit). Last week, I got into an argument with her about her weight. Some health shit had come up and she her first response was to insist that her diet was fine. Today I am visiting home for the weekend so I decided to call her out on her ''my diet is just as good as yours'' claim. Here's how the day went:
7.30am- I get up, have two flat peaches and a coffee with a bit of whole milk for breakfast. I usually use skim but there's none in my Mom's house.
11am- I go for a small run because I'm bored and there's a nice trail here. Twenty minutes at a fairly easy pace.
11.45- Fatass wakes up and yells at me for disturbing her sleep by running the shower. Makes a cappuccino from a Dolce Gusta machine pod and adds two sugars. Yells a bit more about the whereabouts of the TV remote.
12.30pm- Fatass gets breakfast. It's a pile of strawberries with a crushed store-bought meringue on top. I feel (although don't know for sure) that the strawberries had previously been sprinkled with sugar, as they were already chopped up in a bowl in the fridge.
1pm- I decide to go out and get food for lunch because my Mom's house isn't well stocked. Fatty wants to come with. There's a nice Thai place nearby so I order takeout. My order- Chargrilled chicken and mango salad, of which I eat about half. Her order- Sweet and sour chicken with fried noodles. She eats 80% and also wanted to order a portion of fried won-tons but my Mom refused to pay for them (oh yeah she's 23 and my Mom pays for all her stuff btw, as well as her living at home).
3pm- My Shitlady other sister calls over. She is heavily pregnant and grumpy, and it is her birthday (hence why I'm home). We make tea. For once we are actually the same- Black tea no sugar, dash of milk.
4.30pm- Fatass starts getting hungry (HOW?!), and I offer her my leftover salad. She says no and instead asks Shitlady sister for some birthday cake. Niece and nephew also want cake, so Shitlady agrees. She slices up the cake into 8 roughly even pieces and hands out slices- the kids share a slice of course. Fatass doesn't want her slice, as she has spied a bigger one, so she takes that instead. The cake is awful and sugary, and like 10% cake and 90% icing. Neither Shitlady sister or I finish it.
5.30pm- Time to feed the kids. They get pretty much what they usually get being raised by a shitlord parents- ''Fish pie'' consisting of some cod, some salmon, lots of onions, peas, and carrots in a parsley sauce made with some milk, all topped with mashed potatoes. No butter, no cream, no salt. They are kids, they have nice clean, uncorrupted tastebuds and are delighted with healthy clean food. Fatty ''tastes'' their dinner and declares that the potatoes need butter and salt. There is now an argument because the kids think they are missing out and get upset when Mom says no. Fatty continues to ''taste'' the dish (that she supposedly hates) until she is told to stop before she eats it all.
6.30- We have a dinner reservation for 8pm, so we make some more tea to wake ourselves up. I take out my leftover salad and split it with pregnant Shitlady. Brother-in-law knows better than to take food from a hungry pregnant woman and picks half of mine off the plate- no biggie as I wouldn't have finished it all anyway. Fatass also wants a snack so she takes my Mom's leftover Thai food from the fridge and eats it all- I think it was Singapore noodles but I'm not 100% sure. Something noodle-based anyway.
8pm- Dinner. At this point my (bulking) husband has joined us. I order French onion soup for starters- he eats most of the bread and cheese off mine. Fatass orders the same and eats it all, along with two buttered slices of ciabatta from the basket. I ordered a small glass of white wine, and she ordered a large.
For mains, I order a grilled hake dish with garlic roasted baby potatoes and ratatouille. I don't eat the potatoes because they're greasy and not very good. I also ordered a side of steamed broccoli because yum. Fatass ordered a creamy dish with prawns and a fillet of salmon, served with steamed vegetables and potato gratin. She also adds a side of cheesey cauliflower gratin, and eat everything but the steamed green vegetables. She also ''tastes'' everyone's food, and steals several of my husband's side order of parmesan topped roast potato cubes. We both order another glass of white wine, small for me, large for her.
For dessert, I'm pretty full and my husband doesn't like his calories to come from sugar so we consider not getting anything. Fatty thinks we're crazy. The waiter reads out the specials and we decide to split a rhubarb and rosewater sorbet dish. Fatty orders the chocolate and hazelnut brownie with a scoop of hazelnut icecream. She also asks for a dollop of whipped cream and another large glass of wine.
At coffee time, nobody ordered anything except brother in law who was designated driver. Fatass contemplates ordering a latter until she's told that we won't wait for her to finish it and will drive off an leave her there. She's huffy and steals a biscotti from brother in law's espresso.
10.30pm- We get back to my Mom's house and I make some tea. We all have black tea with a dash of milk except brother-in-law who has a teaspoon of sugar in his. I'm sleepy and too full and don't finish my tea because I want to sleep, so off to bed we go.
11pm- Having got ready for bed, I realised I hadn't got a phone charger. I went downstairs to grab one and some water and caught Fatass making herself a hot cocoa (with whole milk, no cream or marshmallows). She claims she couldn't sleep. I find a charger and head to bed as she is turning on the TV.
6.45am- I'm woken up by my niece who wants oatmeal for breakfast. I get up, and head downstairs. We go to make oatmeal and I find a bag of microwave popcorn beside the TV. I assume it to be Fatass's midnight snack.
So after all of this, I confronted her with the evidence. I was so sure this would open her eyes and she would finally see the problem in black and white. She would work off her extra calories and I would eventually gain another shilord sister...
Her response?! ''See? We do eats the same!'' WHAT.
''We both had coffee and fruit for breakfast, we both had takeout for lunch, we both had tea and cake, we both ate the leftovers as a snack later in the day, and we both ordered fish dishes and wine and dessert at the restaurant. We even both had the same soup!''
How can you be so delusional?!?! I actually feel she should be talking to a psychiatrist, that level of delusion has got to be dangerous. WTF. Also this was kind of an unusual day for me, most days I wouldn't eat out twice in a row, or have birthday cake, and I definitely don't have three-course meals on a daily basis. Ugh. Fuck fat people.