I would like to encourage everyone on FPH to vote with their wallet regarding fat people. Specifically, do not spend your money on Lards.
As an example, my wife and I bought a new car and a new camera in the last week. In both cases, I was very adamant that no commissions be given to anyone but the person we chose to help us. You see, in both cases, we were greeted by a Fat who was lingering and offering stupid advice despite the fact that we were obviously ignoring them.
At the auto dealership, without sugar coating it, I told Sir Eats-A-Lot that I didn't like him and would not be working with him. The creature muttered some profanity under it's labored breath and lumbered off to sulk. I told the sales manager that as part of the transaction, I wanted it contracted that only the person we elected to work with would be the recipient of any sales commission from the purchase because I was offended by the pseudo-human who had originally approached us. The sales manager conceded and Fatty got no money.
Regarding the camera purchase, a Fat of Questionable Gender was hanging around trying to determine what our price point was. When it realized that were were looking at a $3500 body (we own a photography business), it suddenly was excited to help us (commission - it saw dollar signs). I let it waste it's time with us, because I had a plan... After walking all over the store until it was visibly sweating, I stopped another salesperson and began to engage. This new person was athletic, knowledgable and was polite to my wife- unlike the Fat who was leering. When it came time to seal the deal, the fat stormed forward to the register and began plugging in its employee number. As it looked to us expectantly, I calmly asked what exactly it was doing. "We are purchasing from this gentleman alone. If your name is going on this transaction, this transaction will occur at another place of business." It angrily grumbled that it had helped us too and deserved to be credited, at which point, I turned to the door and stated that I would phone their manager and take my business elsewhere. The fat crumbled like the failed human it is, allowing the athletic salesperson to complete the sale.
I am going to continue supporting good people who take care of themselves and shunning the Fats (or anyone else who pisses me off: gender queers, militant feminists, etc). My dollars will be spent on gym memberships, quality food and activities- not junk food, more junk food, and laziness. Hit the fats in wallet as I do, my good shitlords and shitladies. We will win this fight yet.
Love and respect to you all!
Edit- phrasing, grammar
Update: Wow. I'm surprised and flattered at all the support and feedback- thank you, esteemed shitroyalty. After giving it some thought and bouncing some ideas off friends of mine, I really am attracted to #effyourfatbusiness as the call for FPH to start a coordinated effort against the Gobble Monster race by actively and consciously spending our money only on our own kind.
I ask you all, now, what is the best way to do this? A very public social media onslaught letting those buttery bastards know they have targets on their ample backs? Or do we keep it subtle and just report back on how the process went? Please - whatever we decide to do, we need firmly commit and act as a unified (athletic) body.
I look forward to your thoughts...