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[–] Sire 0 points 108 points (+108|-0) ago 

  1. Leave FPH open on your computer at all times
  2. Hide your food and dishes in your room
  3. Set very clear (weight-) limits on shared food/furniture/money, and how it's to be evenly distributed among all of you
  4. Place hidden webcams, link the stream to us
  5. Manage an online reality tv-show, with laughing tracks to everything the ham does stupidly
  6. Get rich and leave the fucking house

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[–] Syphrosyne [S] 0 points 30 points (+30|-0) ago 

Flawless plan! This would be so funny, I wish I could actually do it XD

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[–] Sire 0 points 45 points (+45|-0) ago 

Bonus points if you lay out a path with M&M's and she follows it through the 5th story window

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[–] totse 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

If you have a webcam this can easily be done.

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[–] TheThinSister 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

If you have access to a goodwill or other donation based store with electronics, you can bet a couple cheap webcams and hook them up to a computer (like raspberry Pi), then you have an at home personal security.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] garlicdeath 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

I remember how fucking ashamed I was when I had to start buying paper plates and disposable cups because all of ours were rotting in the kitchen sink because out fatass housemate couldn't be bothered to clean up after himself.

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[–] KikiCat 0 points 1 points (+1|-0) ago 

and they won't eat as much, lol

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[–] prisonersandpriests 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Some of these would make things hilarious for us. Some of these are a necessity for living with a fatty. Minifridge with a lock in your room is a definite must have. Make sure that everyone signs a contract about what is getting paid by whom (there was a story recently about someone who roomed with a fatty that wanted cable and tried to make everyone pay for it). It doesn't have a whole lot of legal backing, but it can show that you acted in good faith while fatty did not.

Get a kit for your hygiene products (toothbrush, hairbrush, deodorant, etc.) and take it to the bathroom with you. Take it back to your room when you're done.

Get a cheap wifi security camera. Tell no one. Leave it in your room and take a few minutes to fast forward through it a couple of times per week to make sure fatty doesn't invade your space. Make sure you let everyone know that your room is off limits for anyone. The camera is critical because the first time things happen they will deny that they went and stole your things and/or tried to steal your things and threw a rage fit.

Add an addendum to the contract I mentioned earlier about keeping the place clean. No food wrappers left outside of the garbage, no dishes left overnight in the bedrooms or common area, and no "funny smells" emanating from the bedrooms. Anyone with a funky smelling room that can be smelled from the common area will be reported to whoever owns the property so that they can go in and inspect it if the problem isn't resolved by the next day after bringing it up.