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[–] Lagmonster 0 points 33 points (+33|-0) ago 

Not tripping over your weights in the dark. Fuck!

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[–] UnBlurredLines 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

That can be nearly as scary as pieces of lego in the dark.

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[–] Skip_Around 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

At least it's not as painful as tripping on a lego.

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[–] nomorereddit [S] 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

Uh-oh, everybody getting a downvote. Somebody's fee-fees got hurt.

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[–] Goat-fister 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Oh no! Not our imaginary internet points!

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[–] eat_a_dick_por_favor 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

Fat privilege is declining a snack and people don't think it's because you have an eating disorder or because you're on some diet.
Yes, I know fat people never turn down food, but if they did, everyone would just assume it was because they just binged on 65 tacos and a diet coke.

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[–] Tensor_Fasciae_Latte 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Hey, taco is a salad because lettuce

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[–] MadaraUchiha 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Pizza is one of you're 5 a day because tomato sauce

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[–] bygg_d 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

Being able to avoid physical labor because of your kundishun

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[–] BingoButts 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Indeed fat Beetuslege is crippling yourself for charity.

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[–] OnlyReadsFPH 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

That one pisses me off. Maybe I'm busy and you should ask lardo to run the errand.

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[–] Tensor_Fasciae_Latte 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Poor shitlord nurses 😕

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[–] wordsarewind 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Not having to use your legs. Scooty Puffs for everyone!

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[–] SkinnyMcShitlord 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

Fat privilege is never having to wait at the hospital because chest pains get you to the front of the queue!

Fatties almost always seem to have chest pain just from attempting to breathe with so much lard crushing their lungs!!

I was in the hospital last week and the only chub that had to actually wait was there because they'd broken their foot walking down the stairs! The rest were rushed through because they "couldn't breathe" and had chest pains!

Of the 4 fatties I saw rushed through in the ER, I encountered 3 of them again in the admissions ward later on (meaning they can't have been critical). Turns out that 2 just had reflux from overeating and the third had a common cold!!

I presume the 4th actually did have a heart attack as she was rushed off to ICU.

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[–] GreffeduFoie 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I'm a liver transplant recipient. I usually get brought back immediately whenever I need to go to the hospital. Except with heart attack hams. Usually they just have gerd. When I'm really sick (like failing liver sick) I'd say chest pain even though I knew it was anxiety induced. That way I'd get fast tracked BC with a transplant, time is crucial.

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[–] SkinnyMcShitlord 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Congrats on the transplant!! Hope you're doing well?

I tend to get rushed straight in most of the time because I have a lot of severe medical issues myself. I also have virtually no immune system so they like to get me into an isolation room asap before I catch something and end up in the ICU.

I really don't blame you for telling a white lie if needed though, I've done the same and they always take me seriously (I have a rare genetic disorder that means I'm at massive risk of things like stroke, arterial dissections, aneurysm, heart attack/failure, etc, etc). I'm also fed via a tube in my intestine and incredibly underweight which also contributes massively to making me incredibly fragile. It's not hard for me to get them to take my problems seriously.

My normal resting heart rate is 125+ beats per minute and my blood pressure is very low at around 75-80 over 40-50 which means I collapse really easily too.

I use a powered wheelchair but when I'm ill, I can't stay sat up for long as my heart can't pump the blood back up from my feet.

When I've been feeling particularly weak and know that I need admitting asap, I pull the "chest pain" card (and I'm not really lying as the strain of sitting up really does cause me pain!)

The fact that my heart rate and blood pressure are so out of whack already means that they never call me out on it as it's perfectly understandable to freak out about levels like mine in most cases, even though it's my "normal".

The Doctor's never seem mad at me for it because even if the emergency ECG comes back within normal range, it's very clear that I really am seriously ill and couldn't afford to sit around waiting. Whereas they get visibly pissed off with the fat fucks that ate too much and gave themselves reflux, then panicked about having a heart attack.

I've seen a few hams getting an earful from the Doctor's for wasting everyone's time and taking up a bed that other people genuinely need.

If you read some of my past comments/submissions about my experiences on the gastro ward, Hams are always the most selfish, entitled bastards in the hospital!!

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[–] CaptainRobotnik 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

  • Everyone is super-careful not to upset you
  • You can be famous for doing nothing if you're morbidly obese enough that the fire department has to cut you out of your home
  • Plenty of disgusting sugary treats for beetus blimps such as yourself
  • You don't even have to walk through the store!

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[–] anticlutch 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Is having entire industries dedicated to customizing things specifically for large dimensions.

I single-cockedly hold up the extra large condom industry.

This was much funnier when I thought it. I'm sorry.

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