Hello you lovely flab fighters. I have a little story for you, of which I will have many, due to the fact that there are literally so many obese fucks out there :)!
I caught this particular ham bitching about me and my size recently, so I guess it makes me feel better to put her on here.
I work with this mayonnaise magnet, we shall call Mayogirl. She's in her mid twenties but gets mistaken for mid thirties all the time. She puts zero effort into her appearance, like she doesn't shower and is easily 250+lbs. She tries to make herself look smaller by constantly breathing in, which makes zero difference when your gut is protruding from the rest of your body by a metre. She also always wears black because its 'slimming'! And those skinny waist belts, designed to look chic, if you are slim and know how to dress yourself.
We were talking about plans for Christmas, who normally hosts and what they cook etc. Conversation went a little like this...
Mayogirl: So who normally hosts the Christmas meal in your family? I never host as it's too much work!
(she also still lives at home, with her 5 cats and enabling parents so she couldn't possibly host, but she doesn't know that I know that)
Me: I normally host, for around 15 family members and myself, it's not too much work if you plan ahead...
Mayogirl: I just can't be bothered with it all. Why make all that food if you won't even get to eat it all.
Me: Well I do sit down to eat with them, too...I don't sit in the corner and starve.
Mayogirl: Yeah but I bet you still count your calories, you don't eat enough! What's your favourite part of the Christmas meal?? Mine has to be Yorkshire puddings with bacon and honey!!
At this point she is practically salivating.
Me: Yorkshire puddings with bacon and honey? I've never had that...
Mayogirl: Yeah, you cook it all together, like the Yorkshire pudding is a pot and the bacon and honey go inside it. So yummy. I have to stop myself from eating the whole lot (teehee)
Me: Ah, well I like roasted parsnips and peas. I don't think the holidays are a reason to blindly gorge.
Mayogirl: Omg!! You actually like vegetables?? I knew there was something wrong with you, lol!!
Me: They are hands down the best part of the meal. I don't eat meat and I always look closely at what I am putting in my body, as everyone should.
Conversation ended there. Where she realised she made herself look like a total butterhuffer.
Am I the only one who can control myself around food at christmas, as I do every other day of the year?
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[–] callthehambulance ago
Hah, I have the same issue going on right now with the jeans I'm wearing.
Your Christmas food sounds wonderful. I tend to keep stuff light i the days building up to it, so dinner tonight was a fish finger sandwich. Next couple of days will be cereal, oatmeal or scrambled eggs.
Oh gosh. Veal. I've not had that in years now and I miss it. Tne most beautiful of meat.
I'm popping up to the butcher's tomorrow to get my beef joint. I'm looking forward to it and to the coming days of having a fridge stuffed with leftovers. Best feeling ever
[–] DorothyMantooth ago
Lol, I'm actually kind of annoyed by the jeans, because these are a size 2 and they're a little too big, but the 0s are a bit too small for comfort (mainly in the waist, because I'm short-waisted so I'm fairly straight-up-and-down). I'd like to just have a size that fits, you know?
I am so jealous that you're going to a butcher. I miss tons of things about England and where we lived there, but the biggest and most consistent one is my butchers. Great meats, great guys... I miss them, and there are no proper butchers here (at least not within about a twenty minute drive) so I have to make do with supermarkets, sigh. It just sucks. (And I'm already wondering where I'm going to find the veal here, whereas at my butcher's I could just ask them for a "brown mince" and they'd grind it all up together for me. Because real butchers are awesome.) I'll probably have to trek all the way out to Whole Foods for it. I've actually only had it once aside from in lasagna or meatballs, so I don't know much about cooking it properly or anything; one of these days I'll try it. (I have also never had or made beef wellington, though I've always wanted to!! That sounds wonderful! Do you make your own mushroom duxelle, or...? I don't like mushrooms, which is kind of the one thing that keeps me from it--for the bourguignon I keep them really big so I can easily pick them out--but I keep thinking I could get a nice beef pate or something instead.)
And thank you! We do like our Xmas food. Funny thing is, the Xmas Eve thing started when I was a kid and my mom decided to just get a party platter one year instead of doing a whole big meal. We all liked it so much it just became a tradition. We have our light snack-y dinner and then we play a game and open presents. It's fun (and it's easy for me, which is the best part because by Xmas Eve I don't feel like cooking anything anymore, lol).
[–] callthehambulance 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
A good butcher is a wonderful amenity to live nearby. Mine is about a two mile walk, but it's a nice walk, and well worth it.
I make my own mushroom duxelle, it's dead easy. :) And I find the trick with beef, even cheap cuts, is to toss pieces in seasoned flour first. I do that with my stroganoff and it comes out beautifully every time.
For me, Christmas Eve is carols from King's College, and prepping veg. Lots of candles, and calling friends and family and catching up. Right now though, it's the longest night here in England. I have a long standing tradition of sitting up for it. I wanted to end myself about six years back after losing a baby, but a dear friend suggested I waited til Solstice was done before making any decisions. I did, and here I am now I guess.
And I get what you mean on a size that fits. I'm tall and long in, well, everything,so my struggle is finding jeans small enough but not too short in the groiny area, if you get what you mean. Nobody likes a moose knuckle, haha